Life interrupted…

I will be the first to admit, I hate it when my life becomes interrupted by something or someone unannounced. I am a planner and a free spirit, but I only enjoy the latter when I choose to be it. I totally get that in this life one day you could be high in the clouds, then suddenly the walls can cave in. Thus, when I’m having a great day I try to maximize on the feeling because you just never know what could happen the next day. 

My life is busy, but whose isnt? I’m pretty sure there are those who would love to trade places with me due to their hetic schedules. But, in my little world I can only express my feeling of running around like a headless chicken. 

I work a full time job, I am a mother/uber driver to my two children and now a new wife. On the side, I am in the midst of writing a novel (my 8th book), starting a non profit for children, getting ready to join a new church (which is mega by the way,) and volunteering at an elderly facility. Some of my buziness to others may seem self inflicted, but I believe I was created for more than just going to work everyday for someone else, being a mom and a wife. I have gifts within me and not sharing them with the world, to me is a waste of God’s time in creating me. God created us for so much more than the usual routine. I want to honor God with my gifts and talents, but sometimes that means there will be interruptions. 

Did I mention how much I hate interruptions.

There will be times when I need it quiet so I can focus on my writing, but at times the children nor the hubby adheres to my level of no noise. 

There will be times when my vision is to just go home after work, cook dinner for my children and rest while reading. Yet, the television is blarring at home, the children are fussing with one another or I need to clean or do laundry.

Or the time when I was pregnant with my first born. Shortly after purchasing a new home, I was out on hospital bed rest, then ended up having the baby early. Wasn’t prepared for that to say the least. Especially since he was born during the “anthrax”  scare and his baby shower invites didn’t make it to anyone. 

Interruptions are enevtible and I get that. But, I will be the first to admit a change in direction is hard on me. I want to do things my way without any detours. Don’t we all?? 

But what God is teaching me is that regardless of what I think or feel the main thing is that I trust him completely because he knows the direction he is leading me into. 

I just can’t see the destination and that’s frustrating. 

Yes, I got frustrated due to getting caught by that light, but God saw an accident getting ready to occur and he allowed me to miss it by being caught by the light. Yes, I got frustrated because the store didn’t have that particular item I wanted to buy, but God saw a bill coming in the mail for an amount around the exact amount I would have paid for that item. One thing I missed out on, covered a surprise bill. Look at God at work. 

So yes sudden interruptions can be quite annoying, but we must practice looking at each situation with what is God trying to teach me? 

I want to encourage you (and even myself) to not get so bent out of shape due to an interruption. Ride the wave because it may have come to teach you something very valuable or to protect you from something. 

Dear Sorry…I hate you!

There is not a day that passes that someone is going to mess up. Each day, someone gets hurt by the words and actions of others. But what can you do to prevent it? Pretty much nothing. Even after an apology has been given, hurt is still there. 

Throughout my life, I’ve heard the words I’m sorry more that I would have liked too. Why can’t people, even myself just do right? Because we’re human and humans make mistakes. Is that an excuse for not knowing something or for simply not paying attention? What about the cold hearted people who just doesn’t care? Their response is usually, “Sorry if I hurt you, but…” 

I remember when my first love asked someone else to marry him. I was crushed beyond words. We had been friends for years so for him to hurt me the way he did was a blow to my heart. Of course he said other words, but for the purpose of this blog I will fast foward to him saying the part about he was sorry for hurting me. 

His words didn’t help one bit.

Are you really? I thought to myself. I was numb for a long time. Sometimes those words are nothing more than words. Yet, in time (a long time) my heart healed and I was able to move on emotionally. 

Many years later, i’m married to a great guy. The only thing is, I don’t understand the way he thinks. I get no one is perfect, but simple mistakes could cost lots. He doesn’t appear to get this and thinks I’m just being dramatic. But, for instance he left the oven on broil and left the house. 

When I finally got home, the stove was beyond words hot. I was furious because who knows what could have happened if the stove caught fire and no one was there? Of course he said those magical words, I’m sorry. But in my opinion, I’m sorry won’t pay the insurance company the deductible to rebuild our home. Nor, will it pay the bill for the hotel we would need to stay in until our house was rebuilt. 

I am just speaking for myself, but I’m tired of the words, I’m sorry. Those words don’t change anything and I wish they never existed. But until the world and the people in it (including myself) become perfect. I guess they will remain in hopes of easing the pain they’ve caused. 

BABY MAMAS

I remember in 2004 when Fantasia came out with the song, BABY MAMA. Although I did not have any children at the time, I thought the the song had a nice beat and the theme was uplifting. There I was in my room with my head bobbing to the tune. Who would have known years later, I too would be a BABY MAMA. 

Now before people get all beat out of shape with that title, it simply means a single mom. I personally don’t mind the words BABY MAMA, but to many that name is not an emprowering annotation. (I will talk more about that in a few.)

For four and a half years I was a single mom, doing things on my own to take care me and mine. I worked, paid my bills, used credit when I needed to, juggled home and work life and still was their for my babies and their school life. Me and my children’s father (my BABY DADDY) weren’t always on good terms in the beginning, but I never used the children to get back at him nor to control him. They were also his and although his parenting style was different, he loves them. So off they went every two weeks to spend time with him. 

This leads me into talking about BABY MAMA’S.

We’ve all heard stories of woman trying to use to children to get back at their dad for whatever reasons. Why is that? If you’re relationship is over and you’ve both moved on, why do you care about what he is doing? Not allowing the children to spend time with their dad, is only hurting them, especially if he’s a loving father. But many BABY MAMA’S don’t see it like that and are living with a spirit of shellfishness, control, unforgiveness and bitterness. 

So what whatever happened in your relationship happened. How long ago was that? Aren’t you both in new loving relationships? Why do BABY MAMA’S want to hold on to what did or did not happen in a relationship that ended years ago? The games of not answering the phone with the dad calls are quite childish. The ongoing remarks about his new mate are annoying. (And what did she do to you again?) Telling your children that their dad doesn’t have time for them, or that he cancelled plans, when all the time it was you is simply ridiculous! 

From one BABY MAMA to another, please stop this foolishness. It takes two to make a baby, thus the children have two parents they need to spend time with in order to have a healthy childhood and great memories. Get pass your feelings and allow the children to see their dad. Now if their safety is a factor then that’s a totally different situation. 

As for me and my ex, we’ve both happily moved on. The children are our only focus now. When we talk and even meet up to exchange the children, there’s always good vibes. For me, I don’t want my babies growing up with the memory of mom and dad fighting. I want them to see that although “our family” didn’t work out, Gods word teaches love. 

And off they go to their dad’s smiling. See you in Sunday my love bugs…

A bittersweet farewell!

This year would have marked my five year anniversary as a single mom. And for the past few years my boys and I have attended the single parents luncheon at a local church on Mother’s Day. This year also marked a new beginning for me and my boys. A week ago I married a great man and now we are starting a new journey.

So why did I go to a luncheon for single parents when I’m one week married? Well for one, my good friend is the speaker and I wanted to support her. But, secondly as I begin this new journey, I needed clousure regarding my past as a single mom.

Women always need clousure, Right?

I married a great man, and although it’s only been a week I’m still getting use to my new identity. My boys are still mine and I still deal with their wants and needs on a daily basis, but now I’m married. Is there actually a title for who I am now? Do I just go with, I’m a married woman with two kids? I will admit, this is confusing to me.

I guess I will take life one day at a time and learn who I am. I don’t think I really have a choice. I pray in time I will meet other ladies who have traveled this path and can guide me and fill me with wisdom regarding my new identity. But for today, I enjoyed my time at the luncheon. I enjoyed the food, fellowship, gifts from my boys and the speaker.

As I walked out of those doors, I knew that would be the last time I would attend. I’m happy to be married, leaving was just bittersweet.

Watch “The Greatest Love Story Ever! Introducing Mr. and Mrs. Wright!” on YouTube

I’m married now!

Letting Go…

If anyone were to admit it is hard to let go, it would be me. I wouldn’t say I’m clingy or a horderer, but sometimes it’s hard for me to grasp the concept of everything having a season.

For example, when I’m blessed to meet new people. I want us to stay in touch forever. Unfortunately, that’s not realistic. Some people are in my life to teach me a “right now” lesson, then they must exit my life. I must be ok with that.  Some people do have a longer purpose in my life. I’ve been blessed to have life-long friendships. Granted, we don’t talk everyday because life can get busy. But, some friends are just meant to be there so you can just “be you” around them. These friends keep you grounded and aware of self.

With any relationship, one must allow people to fulfill their purpose, then allow them to move on. As much as we don’t want to admit it, nothing lasts forever. There will always a beginning and an end.

Also with life in general, one must learn when to let go and move on. When I move from Michigan to the East Coast, it was time. Just like when I left the East and headed South, it was time. Letting go of everything I’ve ever known was difficult, but it had to happen when it happened. It had to happen when God designed for it to happen. And I will admit, his timing was perfect.

The people, places and things that have come and gone or even have stayed serve a purpose. I am grateful for every experience, opportunity and friendship that I have been blessed to take part in. I am also grateful that God is showing me daily it’s ok to let go and embace the new blessings he has for me.

Just my thoughts…Adrian

Double minded

“A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.” James 1:8

Recently, I made a decision. Well at least I thought I made a decision. I knew what I had to do. I knew what was right. Transition and change is always hard, but it was time to let go and allow God to steer me in another direction. But, something kept pulling me back. For some reason it was taking all of my strength to turn the page to write the next chapter.

As I sat there, it became obvious that I must move on. I became annoyed that I was even still considering coming back. Everything has a season and I must embrace my new season. I appreciate my lessons learned and all the wisdom and memories, but now it’s time to make new memories and learn new things.

I don’t ever want to be considered double minded. I don’t ever want to be considered unstable. Lord, help me to make a decision and stick with it.

Moving foward at times can be rough, but life is always moving in one direction, so accept it. There is no pause, nor reverse button with life. Learn what is needed to be learned and move on to the next lesson life wants to teach you.

Just my thoughts…Adrian

Choose your team

Not everyone is going to celebrate you and that is okay. Yes, it hurts but in reality sometimes the ones closest to you; whom you knew would be your “ride or die” end up being the one who hates on you. Why do some people do this? Who knows, maybe jealousy? But, just realize every new level God takes you to won’t have room for everyone in your life.

Where some people drop off, God will bless you will new friends who will encourage and uplift you during your new season in life. Be okay with that. Stop stressing over people’s actions and move foward. You will never understand people so stop trying. Focus on your purpose and keep moving ahead.

Cry if you need to because of the loss, after which dry your tears and get to work. You only get one life, so make the most of your time. Even if in the end there is only you and God left standing, that is all that matters. Because he is all you need!

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Accepting No as a reality

Often in life, we want what we want, when we want it. Unfortunately, sometimes what we what is not good for us or the person we want doesn’t want us back. Both scenarios hurt.

That was me two years ago. I met a guy and I loved him deeply. I did everything in my power to get him to love me back, but he never did. If he was sick, I was there for him. When he went through a difficult situation, I was there to encourage and pray for him. Every hoilday and birthday, I went all out showering him with gifts. But, none of this meant anything to him. Why? Because he wasn’t the one for me. Although I tried to make him the one, God said, “No!”

Hearing the word no really sucks. When little children are told no, they usually throw a temper tantrum and cry. But, what do you do when you’re an adult and you’re told no?

For me, I was really sad. I took that guy not wanting me personally. As if something was wrong with me. But in reality, God had better plans for my life. God was trying to orchestrate a time when I would eventually meet my soul mate, but I keep trying to do my own thing. Thus, pushing God’s plan further out in the future.

When I finally gave up and decided that God had my best interest at heart, I met the man of my dreams.

Sometimes, No is okay and we need to accept there is better out there. If someone doesn’t want to be in your life, there will come others. If you didn’t get the job you thought you should have, maybe God had better plans.

Trusting God doesn’t happen over night, but when you do, you will be grateful you did. For his thoughts are not our thoughts and his ways are not our ways. God sees tomorrow…trust him.

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Letting Go

Although I’m an extrovert, It never bothered me when I was alone. I remember playing with my brother growing up, but when he finally realized I was a “girl,” he began to play with his guy friends. And that was ok, because I had a pencil, paper and my imagination. I guess that was the first time I realized that people, things and situations don’t last forever. That was also when I realized my love for writing. Writing took me places I could only imagine. If I wanted to be taller, I would write myself as taller. If I wanted to be able to fly, I wrote me as having the ability to fly. The skies were the limited when it came to any vision I perceived.

As I grew older, I met different people. Some interesting. Some not so interesting. I had my heart broke a few times, but I learned valuable lessons with each story. I had many friends mainly because I accepted people for who they were. Till this day, I’ve never judged someone because they were different from me. There was a few mean girls growing up who thought the world revolved around them, but I never really felt their vibe, thus I kept it moving and danced to my own tune.

I’m an adult now and looking back, there have been many people I’ve come across. Some people have been in my life, basically all my life. While, others I met through my ins and outs of the few states I’ve lived in.

Moving to the East Coast in 2002, was one of biggest letting go experiences of my life. I was going to a foreign land in which I knew no one. But, I wanted to see more, experience more and see what life was like outside of Michigan. Yes, in the beginning I was home sick and thought many nights, what was I thinking? But, I had to learn to let go and move on. Michigan was home. It was where I grew up and made my first best friends. It was where I feel in love, had my first kiss and where I had my heart-broken. It was where my family was and leaving was a hard decision. Leaving helped me to mature.

Time went on and I met new people. I now had a new circle of good friends. Home would always be home, but now I had a new address. I began to experience life. I had my own place and was paying my own bills. Yet, friends came and friends went. Rather they moved to a new place due to a job, or life just got too busy to always hang out on a Friday night to go skating. Life is about change. One needs to accept this. It’s not that our friendships ended, life just caused a changed. And change isn’t always bad, it just is.

Then, I moved again to the South. Not knowing a soul, I moved in faith. I’m very free-spirited. Since I did it before, I figured I could do it again. But this time it was different, I had two little boys along for the ride. They’re easy-going, so that makes life easy. They just go with the flow.

So, here we are starting over and having to make new friends. I always smile because although I had no idea I would be living in the South, God did and he had already set up who I would meet and where we would live. Letting go of the East Coast was hard and I miss my friends there, but the truth is true friendship isn’t confined to a certain zip code or a state. If someone is meant to be in your life, they will be. Whether it’s a friend, a love interest or a job, if it’s for you then you don’t have to struggle regarding it. Simply let go and relax. Nothing can hold back or prevent what is for you from happening.

My friends will always be my friends. The guy that is for me will find me. The house I desire is mine. Health is mine. But, sometimes you have to let go of some things in order for God to position you where he wants you to be.

I’m happy with my new life in the South. This is home and I’m slowly turning into a country girl who still loves her pencil, paper and imagination.