My king size bed

I remember a time when I was single. Oh how I longed to be in a relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I totally know how to date myself and enjoy life, but God didn’t create us to be alone. Day after day I lay in my king size bed alone. I could stretch out in any direction because no one was in it but me. I could twist and turn in the covers, and still be the only one wrapped in them. My room was silent. I enjoy sleeping in the dark. Yet, I was still alone. 

Then one day you came into my life. We got married and no longer am I alone on this journey called life. I have a mate. I have my boo thing. I have a cuddle buddy.

Now when I come to bed, I can hear you breathing. At times, if you’re really tired…you snore. Often you steal all the covers as I snatch them back to cover my cold body. You love to wrap your feet around mine as we drift off to sleep. There you are night after night in my king size bed. 

And I love it! 

2 months and counting!!

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Well, it’s been two months since I became a wife. For the most part, we get along really well. That is truly a blessing. Then there are times when we don’t agree. I think that’s normal. No two people will probably always agree on everything all the time. But overall, I know in my heart I married the right man and I’m excited about our life together.

Interestingly, lately on my social media pages I’ve noticed a lot of talk from women about finding the “right man.” (I guess it’s as hard as Finding Nemo!) But, I’m curious to learn what the definition of the “right man” is. Because I keep hearing the same things from women, yet they are still single. Does this man really exists, or are the standards women put up too high for a man to even attain?

In my opinion, before a female even considers wanting to be in a relationship, she should ask herself why does she actually want one? Is it because her friends are in relationships and she’s the only one single? Well if that’s the case please allow me to encourage you. Before marriage, I was in different “relationships” with guys, yet I was still alone and sad more than not. (If that makes any sense to you.) Being in a relationship just to say you have a boo is ridiculous. Everyone that post “I love you pics” or not always in healthy and happy relationships. Never envy someone else’s life. Your single life could actually be better!

Next, I would love to ask these women are you truly happy with yourself, by yourself? Before I met my hubby, I loved being by myself. I would take myself out on dates often. I spoiled myself. I did want I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it. I enjoyed life and I was in love with me as a person. For those longing for a relationship, may I ask, are you happy with yourself first? Understand no one can make you happy. If you aren’t happy before you meet a guy, trying to get him to make you happy is going to lead to disaster. Please date yourself and enjoy your life first. Stop putting off things hoping that when you get into a relationship you could share that time with a special someone. You are special enough.

Let’s talk about these standards women put up for a moment. It’s okay to have a list of what you would like in a future mate, but goodness you gotta have some room for compromise. Maybe when you are finally in the relationship God can show you how you could help him in certain areas that are on “your list.” The woman is suppose to be a help to the man. Stop turning your back on great guys just because they didn’t meet EVERY criteria on your list. Make your list, give it to God and simply get to know a person before dismissing him. He may be your ram in a bush.

I could go on and on about the topic of relationships, but I will end with this. Be open-minded to where and how you could find “the one.” I met my hubby on-line. I know a lot of people are anti-online. But the reality is, I’m happy with my boo. I was a single working mom who didn’t go to bars or etc, so my son was actually the one who suggested I go online to “find a husband.” Now this may not be your thing and that is fine. But, I do want to encourage you to not limit yourself with where you could “bump” into the great guy.

And for all you “super spiritual” women out there who are waiting on God to drop a man from the sky, please also remember the scripture: “Faith without Works is Dead.” Yes, God feeds the birds, but he doesn’t put the worm in their mouths. I want to encourage you to get out there and enjoy life. God has a great way of orchestrating meetings. Trust him with all your heart and simply live and have fun. Your awesome guy is out there also searching for an awesome you. Be patient! Before you know it, you will be counting months too.

 

 

A bittersweet farewell!

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This year would have marked my five year anniversary as a single mom. And for the past few years my boys and I have attended the single parents luncheon at a local church on Mother’s Day. This year also marked a new beginning for me and my boys. A week ago I married a great man and now we are starting a new journey.

So why did I go to a luncheon for single parents when I’m one week married? Well for one, my good friend is the speaker and I wanted to support her. But, secondly as I begin this new journey, I needed clousure regarding my past as a single mom.

Women always need clousure, Right?

I married a great man, and although it’s only been a week I’m still getting use to my new identity. My boys are still mine and I still deal with their wants and needs on a daily basis, but now I’m married. Is there actually a title for who I am now? Do I just go with, I’m a married woman with two kids? I will admit, this is confusing to me.

I guess I will take life one day at a time and learn who I am. I don’t think I really have a choice. I pray in time I will meet other ladies who have traveled this path and can guide me and fill me with wisdom regarding my new identity. But for today, I enjoyed my time at the luncheon. I enjoyed the food, fellowship, gifts from my boys and the speaker.

As I walked out of those doors, I knew that would be the last time I would attend. I’m happy to be married, leaving was just bittersweet.