Another school year, but this time I shedded a tear.

So, my babies who are actually not babies anymore have just started a new school year. For most parents this is probably the highlight to the end of the summer. But for me, I will admit, I’m sad. You see I now have a Jr. High student and one still in elementary. That means I have two children in two different schools, who will be involved in different activities in which I will have to Uber them to all the while working full time. This makes me anxious.

I will admit the only reason I’m writing this blog is for therapy. My friends, my hubby and my mom are probably all tired of hearing my sob story, so I figured I’ll just put my thoughts onto paper…while online.

Yes, I’m proud of them both. yes, they are amazing children. Yes, I know they will be fine. I wouldn’t trade them for the world. But in reality, they are my world. Yes, I know I’m gonna have to allow them to grow up and mature into great young men, but right now I just want to snuggle with them and walk them to their different classes.

Today they rode the bus for the first time. To start off the first day the Jr. High bus was 20 mins late while we stood in the rain. Yep, great experience! My oldest is my twin and till this day isn’t embarrassed by my presence, didn’t mind me standing their with him. He even shared his jacket with me while it rained. Finally, the bus came and off he went. I had been crying all morning, but I tried to hold it together while we were amongst the other children and parents at the bus stop. I didn’t want to embrace the child.

But inside, I felt like a horrible mom just letting him go like that. Then again I would go to jail if I didn’t.

Next it was the fourth grader’s turn. This time I decided to drive him to the stop just in case it tried to rain again. Plus, since I still work full-time I wanted to time how long it would take me to get to work once I dropped him off at the his stop.

At first we were the only people there. I was slightly freaked out and kept checking the school’s bus schedule to make sure we were at the right stop and yes we were. I was praying he wasn’t going to be the only child on the bus. Then finally, a load of children came to the stop. Whew! This time the bus was on time and off they went.

Now both of my children are on their way to starting a new school year. This will mean homework, lunches, after school activities and new friendships. I know they are excited and that helps me to get pass my emotions. But, at the end of the day they are my babies and I just want them to be safe.

Yes, I walked home as a child and lived to tell the tale. And I know they will be fine too. I know they will pay attention in class and learn new things. I pray they stay focused, yet have a great school year.

But for me, today I plan on trying to get pass my emotions. I will eventually have to stop crying and face the reality that my babies aren’t babies anymore. I’m excited to hear how their first day went.


Helping Children

One day as I was watching the Steve Harvey show, I asked God what can I do to help those in need. I am a true believer that we are placed on this earth to make a difference in someone else’s life. Thus, I began to pray. And God eventually showed me the area in which he wanted me to leave his love imprint. 

For those who don’t know me, I love children. While others connect to animals, anything computer related and etc. I personally relate to children. So when God gave me the vision to help celebrate the lives of children I was estatic. Then he showed me how. 

Statistics reveal that one in thirty children are homeless. To me that’s way too many children who are celebrate on the day of their birth. (This number does not include children whose parents simply can’t afford to hold a birthday party. Or, those whose parents don’t believe in celebrating birthdays.)

Thus, my non profit organization was birthed. The goal is to have birthday parties for children in shelters and in low income situations. I’m super excited about helping others. I look forward to seeing the smiles on different children’s faces as they are celebrated and allowed the opportunity to feel special, even if it’s only for two hours. 

Currently, I am working with a company to help with my start up paperwork so I can be tax exempt. Currently, I am seeking funds to pay this company so that my dream becomes a reality. 
Would you consider donating? Would you consider spreading the word to those in your circle and those who read your blog post? That you in advance. I Really appreciate you! 

Click here to donate

My love for children…my journey to start a non profit. 

One day I asked God how could I make a difference in this world? With so much saddness going on around us, how could little ole’ me bring a smile to someone else’s face? Then he told me…

You see, I love children. I would of had more than the two I have, but I quickly learned where babies came from and I wasn’t too sold on the idea. Sorry I digressed! 

As I sat watching t.v., something I rarely do, I prayed and listened. God showed me a vision of celebrating with children on their birth day. These particular children I was to celebrate with were not your typical children. Rather, these children would be from low income homes or those living in shelters. 

I was blessed to grow up in a home and my birthday was celebrated every year by my mom. But, so often these children are overlooked due to finances or other reasons. 

This is why I wanted to start a non profit organization geared towards surprising these children with a personalized birthday party. 

This organization is still in the developing stage because with everything comes a cost. Would you please be a blessing to me and the future children I plan to celebrate by giving a donation towards the filing fees with lawyers and the IRS? Any amount would truly be a blessing. Thank you again and I’m super excited about what is about to take place in the lives of children.

If you would like to help me on this journey please Click on link below.

An unexpected walk

So today did not go exactly as planned. Yesterday my car sounded funny at start up, but I was able to get home safely. My husband started my car a few times that day, then again before he went to work in the morning, and all went well. But, when I tried to start it in hopes of getting my children to childcare and me to work on time, the vehicle wouldn’t start. 

Insert frustration…

So I had to think fast because today was only the second day of school and I didn’t want them to miss or be late. Their school isn’t exactly the closest, but we had to get there. Thus, we began our long walk. 

Over the last few days it has been raining a lot, but today God allowed the sun to shine. Although it’s super hot outside, our walk to school was dry. (Excluding our sweat.) Yes, we had to walk, but thankfully we have legs that can move properly and it was dry. So, I had to take a moment and thank God for these gifts and his mercy. 

Thankfully, the children got to school safe and on time. Now it was time for me to make my walk back home to have someone give me a jump. After I had the battery jumped, I went to an auto store and purchased a new battery. I praise God for the finances to do my purchase. 

He always provides! 

Although I missed two hours of work, in my opinion today was a success. I was able to be with my children on their second day of school, I was not stranded somewhere unsafe, and I was still able to get to work. 

To me, it’s all about how you view things. I could have had an attitude, got stressed out and allowed what happened to ruin my day. But instead, I choose to give God glory despite my struggle. When you have God there is always something postive you can focus on. As a child of God, he promised never to leave not forsake you. Thank you God for having my back today! 

Blending Families

I am currently in a blended family. It’s not exactly what I thought it would be and I’m really having a hard time dealing with this new reality. When I first met my hubby and he told me he had children around the same age as mine, I was thrilled. I dreamed of all of us hanging out and being a six pack. He even has a girl, so I was super excited to meet them and spend time with them. 

So eventually we met. Nice children. We met a Chuckie Cheese and since they hadn’t seen their dad in a few weeks (he lived in another state), I sat at a table by myself so they could have fun and bond. That was until the crazy baby mama decided to come join me. 

She talked and talked about how my man was no good. Blah, blah, blah. Mentally I stopped listening and went to a happy place in my mind. And why was she talking to me again? Oh well, I kept it respectful. I tried to appear alert and interested, but she was bashing my man so I just wanted her to shut up! 

Moving along…

My gift is relating to children. All my life children migrate to me and want to be around me. But, my hubby’s baby mama has sabatoged any relationship I could ever have with them for now. She constantly feeds her children thoughts that their dad is choosing me over them. And now that he’s married he won’t have time for them. She has told them to not allow me to touch them and etc. This only hurts because I am a very affectionate person. I love giving hugs and kisses (not on the lips) to everyone. 

But here I am with a wall built up because of her evil ways. My hubby senses my distance and he is hurt by it. But, I don’t know how to change what’s in my heart at the moment. People may say pray about it, but I need more than simply prayer. I don’t know what it is, but it’s more than me simply praying. 

Then here are my children who are just as care free as me. Their dad doesn’t bother me and vice versa. He could care less about my new marriage and has never brought up my hubby’s name regarding anything. He has never come at my hubby in any crazy manner about me or the kids. Thus, my hubby doesn’t get the back lash I am experiencing. 

I just wish we could all get along and she would stop saying not so nice things about me and my hubby. He’s not perfect, but he is trying to be in their lives and love them. So many guys totally don’t care about their children, but that’s not my hubby. I am super proud of how he juggles things. I know he is stressed about the matter, but he doesn’t really show it. 

Being in a blended family for me is something different. I wish it was storybook, but it’s not. I know God has a plan, just waiting patiently for him to reveal it. But until then, I am left wondering what’s the new foolishness she will try to find the children’s mind. 

Until the next time she gets pissed about something…