Watch “5 Things Black People Don’t Do!” on YouTube

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Black Man/Black Woman

I am a black women, who has dated, loved, cherished, supported, protected and even married a black man. I see so many post about how black women need to be there for their black men. But, when will our black men be there for our black women? 

Many black women are single mothers holding it down without any help from the fathers. While working full time and going to school, the black woman never gets a chance to sit and chill. She is constantly trying to find a way to help her children, her family and herself. She has to be the backbone of the family, the prayer warrior, the provider, the one who kisses her children’s boo boo’s when they hurt themselves. 

The black woman is expected to be strong even when she’s tired and wants to give up. Despite being abused and disrespected by people, she has to keep her head lifted high with dignity. Sometimes even with a man present in her life, she has to do everything, pay for everything with no help from him. 

Cause he’s on the come up and we as black women “need” to support our black men…

But when will the Black Man begin to support, love, cherish and respect the Black woman? When will they grow up and stop being a man child who depends on females for things they should be doing? When will black men focus on legal means to provide for their family so their black woman can be there for the children and make sure they are geared for succeess? When will the Black Man stop abusing the Black woman with their words and actions? When will the Black men raise their black sons to be future leaders and providers?

When will black men start showing their daughters how they should be treated? Not as hoes, but as queens. Love first starts in the home. 

Yes, the ratio of women out weigh that of men. But, I say to my black man, pick only one black woman and love her unconditionally. Love her like your life depended on it. Be there for her and lift her up when she feels depleted. Pray for your woman and provide for her. Be able to stand before God and say you valued the gift he blessed you with. Be able to say she never questioned your trust and that at any point you would have given your life for her. Be able to tell God that you never put anyone else before her and she knew she was appreciated. 

I love my black men. I have black children. I married a black man. I love, protect, cherish, respect and support my black man. But black men…you have to do better! 

Inner Peace

I think peace of mind is something we all should desire in our lives. For me simple daily living with a full time job, children, a husband, after school programs, sports, personal goals and trying to maintain friendships for both myself and my boys can be a bit much. So when I get a moment of silence I cherish it and bask in my moment alone with my thoughts and with my Creator. 

Inner peace comes when I get to speak to God and he speaks back to me. His spirit calms me when my world is traveling at warp speed. When me and my hubby have bumped heads, I turn to God for the answer to a resolution. Sometimes he advises me to speak. Other times, it’s best I stay quiet. 

There are also times when I’ve been wronged by a co-worker or friend. My human nature wants to rise up and go off, but I remind myself to take a breath before I speak. 

Once words leave your mouth, you can not take them back. 

Maintaining inner peace is a daily practice that I have yet to master. Daily my peace and patience is tested by those who want to see me act out of character. Yet, I try to stay focused…on the bigger picture. 

Never allow anyone the opportunity to control your emotions. Because when you do, you are no longer in control! 

I will always maintain control. I must always be conscious of my inner peace. 


HONESTY

Is there any such thing in the world as a honest person? Why do people lie? What prevents people from telling the truth? Is it fear of rejection? Is it fear about being caught? Is it fear from people finding out who the real you really is? 

I suppose at some point everyone has told a lie. We are all born with a sinful nature. But, at what point do you stop lying? Lies hurt people? Lied destroys families and friendships. Lies can even lead to death. 

I remember when I was “in a relationship” with this guy. In my mind, I thought that if you loved the person unconditionally, believed in them, supported them and sexed them like a crazed rabbit that all would be well. But, that’s not true. People have free-will and do as they choose. He eventually cheated on me due to his own selfish desires. Although I was terribly hurt, I still had great respect for him. 

Yes, I know that sounds crazy and wierd. But, the reason I respect him was because when I conforted him about it…he told me the truth! 

He admitted to cheating on me.

Yes, I was super hurt, but the fact that he “manned up” and was honest made me appreciate his honesty. Of course we didn’t work out, but I walked away from that relationship feeling different. 

Sometimes it hurts to tell the truth, but regardless the truth must be told. Now, if someone asks you a question regarding if you like their outfit or not (and you truly don’t), how about redponding: “Well, as long as you like it, that’s all that matters!” There are ways to advoid lying. 

In conclusion, I would rather not say anything than to lie to someone. I truly believe you reap what you sow. So daily I ask God to help me to be honest and wise. 

What’s your thoughts about honesty??

The Right One!

So often I see post about women or men looking for the “right one.” Well, the definition of that person could vary depending on the person. Where many people fail in finding the right one, is when they think they need what someone else has. 
My hubby always says, “Everybody’s shoe don’t fit my feet.”

Such a true statement! So often people get caught up in the “happy” relationships they see on Facebook or other social media sites or what their friends protray. What they have going on, may not be what you need in your life. And so often, people fake being in happy relationships for “likes” anyways. 

Here are a few suggestions I want to share for finding the right one: 

1. Before you desire a relationship, find out what it is you actually want and need in a mate. Don’t just get into a relationship because everyone else is in one. Being single right now may be the best thing for you at the moment. 

 2. Be complete and in love with yourself before adding someone else to your life. 

3. Realize we all have baggage. We all have issues. Be patient with yourself and your future mate.

4. Don’t expect perfection. We all make mistakes. You’re not always going to agree. 

5. Learn what you can and can not deal with. 

6. Don’t limit yourself by writing a list and expecting that person to meet every criteria you’ve set. 

7. Be open to getting to know different people of races. 

These are just my thoughts. Happy dating! 

My king size bed

I remember a time when I was single. Oh how I longed to be in a relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I totally know how to date myself and enjoy life, but God didn’t create us to be alone. Day after day I lay in my king size bed alone. I could stretch out in any direction because no one was in it but me. I could twist and turn in the covers, and still be the only one wrapped in them. My room was silent. I enjoy sleeping in the dark. Yet, I was still alone. 

Then one day you came into my life. We got married and no longer am I alone on this journey called life. I have a mate. I have my boo thing. I have a cuddle buddy.

Now when I come to bed, I can hear you breathing. At times, if you’re really tired…you snore. Often you steal all the covers as I snatch them back to cover my cold body. You love to wrap your feet around mine as we drift off to sleep. There you are night after night in my king size bed. 

And I love it! 

Status Change…


I personally love social media. I love seeing all the new and exciting things my “friends” near and far are getting into. It helps me to see their children grow up, pray for them in their times of needs and also it can be used to advertise business ventures and ideas. 

But, what throws me for a loop every time is when people are quick to change their ststus to:

In a relationship…

Um…weren’t you just in a relationship not too long ago? Wasn’t that other person the love of your life? Your post said y’all were soul mates. So where did that person go? I get people are excited about new love interest. And trust your true friends are excited for you too. But, we just can’t keep up with these new status updates. Whatever happened to waiting until you both are really serious to blast your love across social media? I mean the type of love that has you in a “courting” relationship, or with a ring on. 

I get everyone is different and people can do as they choose. It’s just hard for the outsider who is still happy about the love relationship they thought you were still in only to find out, you recently posted pics of your new boo. Well, maybe I should had know y’all relationship had ended cause there were no more “in love” pictures posted across my news feed.

Okay…didn’t get memo you moved on. But, glad you’re happy again. Well, until the next status change. 

Regarding my relationships, I’m private until I know it’s serious. Not girlfriend/boyfriend serious. I mean this is my forever boo, my hubby type of serious. After my divorce, yes I dated guys, but no one was about to get posted across my Facebook as my new boo. I never posted pics of guys, just me and my children. I bet people either felt sorry for me or thought I was gay. 

People would tell me all the time how I am such an awesome person, beautiful in looks. And how one day I would find the “right one.” Be it unknown to them I was dating, just not blasting it across social media. That was until I met Keith. He was different. He was serious. He didn’t just want to simply date, he wanted to court with the intent to marry. 

I thought guys like him didn’t exist anymore.

It wasn’t until he proved his forever seriousness that I began to introduce him to my Facebook friends. We changed our profile picture to represent our togetherness, but I didn’t change my status until we got married. 

Well…he changed my status!