Beautiful without a filter

This is a picture my hip and side view of the real me at age 39. Although I’ve had two children, the ironic thing is that this is what I looked like even in my youth. I’ve always had stretch marks and I’ve never tried to cover them up with make-up or filters on my phone. Why? Because stretch marks are real life and it doesn’t make me any less beatuful because I have them. In my mind growing up I thought it was normal. I thought everyone had them. 

As I was taking this picture my son came in the bathroom unaware as to what I was doing. He was shocked as I held the camera towards my rear end and quickly asked why was I doing such a thing. 

I told him the honest truth. I told him that I wanted to write a blog post that encouraged other females to embrace their stretch marks, cellulite or any other normal body changes. This is real life and in real life, women aren’t perfect. Yet, we’re strong warriors, filters and make-up have many young girls disillusioned. 

It’s very unfortunate when a female doesn’t like herself or a certain part of her body because someone told her she shouldn’t. Or because she’s looked on the internet or in a magazine and saw women who don’t look like her, yet are glamorized because of the appearance of perfection. 

It’s very unfortunate that females don’t embrace their true selves. Rather they try and starve themselves as they try to fit into the cookie cutter of unrealistic views and opinions of people whose opinions don’t really matter. 

In my opinion, every size is beautiful. Every hue of human is beautiful. Stretch marks and dimples on the rear are also apart of life. And no female should feel less about themselves because they don’t look like someone else. God made everyone different, yet God loves us all the same. 

So I write this post to any female who doesn’t feel beautiful because of your stretch marks or other body contouring. Please know you are Gods greatest creation and in order for someone else to love you wholeheartedly, you must first love yourself! (Without any filters) ❤


No makeup

I recently read a blog post that talked about how women should be who they truly are without all the makeup, weaves, filters and fake this and that. This made me think about my own personal life and how beauty is portrayed in the media. 

It’s very unfortunate that many young girls feel as though they are not beautiful unless they look or dress like the females they see in magazines or on television. Often times they spend countless dollars on things to enhance their outside, when it’s their inside (their heart/character) that needs the makeover. 

Yes, makeup and all that other stuff enhances one’s looks, but who are you when you wash the makeup off or take out your weave? (P.s. all ethnic groups wear weave. Don’t be fooled!)

I consider myself a NAKED type of female. I honestly have never been into makeup, fashion, nails or “girly things.” (I was a Tomboy as a child.) Yet, I still consider myself beautiful. I remember growing up and not being into makeup, fashion and etc. I was content. I wore a ponytail and I was comfortable in my skin. Some of my friends were more into looks to say the least. Yet, it boggled their minds every time we went out how the guys would want to talk and get to know me…the one with no makeup and a ponytail. 

I always thought my friends reactions to my unsolicited attention was amusing! 

Even in my adult years, after I decided to go natural, I went out with a guy that flat out told me that no guy wants to be with a girl who doesn’t have straight hair.He felt women should wear makeup, sexy clothes and heels. Wow! 

I was shocked and somewhat hurt actually. 

After that encounter, I must admit I was taken back. I had always been comfortable in my own skin and how I wore my hair, but since I was divorced and in the dating game again, I began to question my presentation. 

Long story short…me and that guy didn’t last long because I remembered I actually loved who I was and how I looked. I have a great personality and I have never had any trouble “finding” a man. Eventually I met my husband online. He simply adores me and all my kinky hair. He personally doesn’t like his woman to wear tons of make-up or weaves. 

Cha Ching! ❤
My husband loves me for me. There’s never a day I need to wake up before him and rushed to put on makeup because I’m afraid of him seeing me with my glam face on. He loves my plain face, my stretch marks, my cesarean scar, my rolls, my jiggles, as well as, my kinky hair. He loves only me. 

So I would say to all women out there, just be you. If makeup and weaves are your thing, then do you. Enjoy you. Just be sure that the man in your life is okay with those days when you don’t want to glam up. Make sure he’s not just with you for show. Make sure he loves you, only you even with no filter or makeup. 

Above all else, make sure you love you!

Likes are for self…withdrawn from Facebook

I think many people are addicted to “likes” and “comments” regarding posts made on their Facebook or any social media accounts. I admit, I was one. To me, my life is pretty awesome. Thus, I never saw it as a big deal when I posted a picture or said something witty or insightful. But, when the “likes” didn’t accrue like I thought they should I began to feel some type of way.

Are people not seeing my posts? I began to ponder within myself. Internally I knew that picture was cute or what I had just said was straight knowledge. So why am I not getting the likes I thought I deserved? Wierd, but true. At least i’m being honest.

True, I loved sharing pictures of my life and my children so my friends could see them, but with the number of true friends on my Facebook account, I could have simply sent those pictures through a text message directly to their cell phones or e-mails.

And yes, all of the friends I have on Facebook I’ve met at some point in my life, they are not all my close true friends. So why did I deem sharing events or pictures about my life and family important to others who could care less about me on any given day? I was addicted to the “like” trap!!

In my opinion Facebook has handicapped many relationships from being genuine. Nowadays people think they actually know you from a single post or picture. I truly miss the days of people actually getting together and chillin at someone’s house. No one had cell phones in their hands, rather they talked to one another in real conversations. Back in the day no one cared about “likes.” People just lived their lives, had house or basement parties and enjoyed fun times like playing spades or monopoly.

Well, since my husband always mention how people are too plugged into the matrix, (social media) I decided to try an experiment regarding my Facebook account. I decided to deactivate my account for a little while to see if anyone actually notice. I deactivated my account to become unplugged from seeing my Facebook icon light up with a number when someone “liked” one of my post. I deactivated my account to focus on more important things in life. Yes, there are actually more important things in life than Facebook! I deactivated my account and guess what? No one cares…

I do plan to reactivate my account because I do miss seeing pictures and post made by my friends. I do enjoying reading encouraging and uplifting posts. I do love seeing all the great things God is doing in the lives of my friends. I do love sharing his blessings about my life.

Although I do plan to reactivate my account, I did learn a valuable lesson. In reality, no one really cares if you post something or not. (No one to this point has reached out to me asking where have I been, why haven’t I posted any pictures nor if me or my family is ok.)

Everyone’s life is in constant motion. People are busy, or at least they say they are. Your true friends will contact you regardless of social media posts. Live your best life and make time for those who are important to you. Make as memories as you can for yourself, regardless of “likes.” God likes you and his opinion is the most important.

Accepting No as a reality

Often in life, we want what we want, when we want it. Unfortunately, sometimes what we what is not good for us or the person we want doesn’t want us back. Both scenarios hurt.

That was me two years ago. I met a guy and I loved him deeply. I did everything in my power to get him to love me back, but he never did. If he was sick, I was there for him. When he went through a difficult situation, I was there to encourage and pray for him. Every hoilday and birthday, I went all out showering him with gifts. But, none of this meant anything to him. Why? Because he wasn’t the one for me. Although I tried to make him the one, God said, “No!”

Hearing the word no really sucks. When little children are told no, they usually throw a temper tantrum and cry. But, what do you do when you’re an adult and you’re told no?

For me, I was really sad. I took that guy not wanting me personally. As if something was wrong with me. But in reality, God had better plans for my life. God was trying to orchestrate a time when I would eventually meet my soul mate, but I keep trying to do my own thing. Thus, pushing God’s plan further out in the future.

When I finally gave up and decided that God had my best interest at heart, I met the man of my dreams.

Sometimes, No is okay and we need to accept there is better out there. If someone doesn’t want to be in your life, there will come others. If you didn’t get the job you thought you should have, maybe God had better plans.

Trusting God doesn’t happen over night, but when you do, you will be grateful you did. For his thoughts are not our thoughts and his ways are not our ways. God sees tomorrow…trust him.

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