2016

I can only speak for myself when I say 2016 has been an amazing year! I don’t really write resolutions, but I do make goals. I do want to be better at the end of a year than I was at the beginning. I am convinced I achieved this.

At times maintaining focus was quite difficult with raising two young boys, running them to various things in and out of school. I also became a newlywed, so now I must also give my husband attention. And I work full time like most Americans. I admit, feeling tired most days is an understatement. Yet, I try to press ahead so I’m not a waster of the time God has granted me with. 

I blogged, I published two books, I went on two vacations, I got married, I celebrated one year as a homeowner, I started a non profit for children, joined a new church, and I became a volunteer at an elderly facility. Yep, I stayed busy, but it has been an amazing year. 

My focus every year is to be a better person I was the year before. I also want to be a blessing to more people every year. Helping people in need is my motivation and passion. I want people to know God has not forgotten about them and I want them to experience his love by anything I can do to help. 

2016 has been amazing. Each year seems better than the last. I am grateful for God’s favor on my life. I am appreciative of all his blessings. I’m excited to see how 2017 will unfold. Excited to see the new people I will meet. Excited to see the places I will go. Excited to see the many people I will be able to help. 

How was your year? 

Dear Sorry…I hate you! 

There is not a day that passes that someone is going to mess up. Each day, someone gets hurt by the words and actions of others. But what can you do to prevent it? Pretty much nothing. Even after an apology has been given, hurt is still there. 

Throughout my life, I’ve heard the words I’m sorry more that I would have liked too. Why can’t people, even myself just do right? Because we’re human and humans make mistakes. Is that an excuse for not knowing something or for simply not paying attention? What about the cold hearted people who just doesn’t care? Their response is usually, “Sorry if I hurt you, but…” 

I remember when my first love asked someone else to marry him. I was crushed beyond words. We had been friends for years so for him to hurt me the way he did was a blow to my heart. Of course he said other words, but for the purpose of this blog I will fast foward to him saying the part about he was sorry for hurting me. 

His words didn’t help one bit.

Are you really? I thought to myself. I was numb for a long time. Sometimes those words are nothing more than words. Yet, in time (a long time) my heart healed and I was able to move on emotionally. 

Many years later, i’m married to a great guy. The only thing is, I don’t understand the way he thinks. I get no one is perfect, but simple mistakes could cost lots. He doesn’t appear to get this and thinks I’m just being dramatic. But, for instance he left the oven on broil and left the house. 

When I finally got home, the stove was beyond words hot. I was furious because who knows what could have happened if the stove caught fire and no one was there? Of course he said those magical words, I’m sorry. But in my opinion, I’m sorry won’t pay the insurance company the deductible to rebuild our home. Nor, will it pay the bill for the hotel we would need to stay in until our house was rebuilt. 

I am just speaking for myself, but I’m tired of the words, I’m sorry. Those words don’t change anything and I wish they never existed. But until the world and the people in it (including myself) become perfect. I guess they will remain in hopes of easing the pain they’ve caused. 

BABY MAMAS


I remember in 2004 when Fantasia came out with the song, BABY MAMA. Although I did not have any children at the time, I thought the the song had a nice beat and the theme was uplifting. There I was in my room with my head bobbing to the tune. Who would have known years later, I too would be a BABY MAMA. 

Now before people get all beat out of shape with that title, it simply means a single mom. I personally don’t mind the words BABY MAMA, but to many that name is not an emprowering annotation. (I will talk more about that in a few.)

For four and a half years I was a single mom, doing things on my own to take care me and mine. I worked, paid my bills, used credit when I needed to, juggled home and work life and still was their for my babies and their school life. Me and my children’s father (my BABY DADDY) weren’t always on good terms in the beginning, but I never used the children to get back at him nor to control him. They were also his and although his parenting style was different, he loves them. So off they went every two weeks to spend time with him. 

This leads me into talking about BABY MAMA’S.

We’ve all heard stories of woman trying to use to children to get back at their dad for whatever reasons. Why is that? If you’re relationship is over and you’ve both moved on, why do you care about what he is doing? Not allowing the children to spend time with their dad, is only hurting them, especially if he’s a loving father. But many BABY MAMA’S don’t see it like that and are living with a spirit of shellfishness, control, unforgiveness and bitterness. 

So what whatever happened in your relationship happened. How long ago was that? Aren’t you both in new loving relationships? Why do BABY MAMA’S want to hold on to what did or did not happen in a relationship that ended years ago? The games of not answering the phone with the dad calls are quite childish. The ongoing remarks about his new mate are annoying. (And what did she do to you again?) Telling your children that their dad doesn’t have time for them, or that he cancelled plans, when all the time it was you is simply ridiculous! 

From one BABY MAMA to another, please stop this foolishness. It takes two to make a baby, thus the children have two parents they need to spend time with in order to have a healthy childhood and great memories. Get pass your feelings and allow the children to see their dad. Now if their safety is a factor then that’s a totally different situation. 

As for me and my ex, we’ve both happily moved on. The children are our only focus now. When we talk and even meet up to exchange the children, there’s always good vibes. For me, I don’t want my babies growing up with the memory of mom and dad fighting. I want them to see that although “our family” didn’t work out, Gods word teaches love. 

And off they go to their dad’s smiling. See you in Sunday my love bugs…

A bittersweet farewell!

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This year would have marked my five year anniversary as a single mom. And for the past few years my boys and I have attended the single parents luncheon at a local church on Mother’s Day. This year also marked a new beginning for me and my boys. A week ago I married a great man and now we are starting a new journey.

So why did I go to a luncheon for single parents when I’m one week married? Well for one, my good friend is the speaker and I wanted to support her. But, secondly as I begin this new journey, I needed clousure regarding my past as a single mom.

Women always need clousure, Right?

I married a great man, and although it’s only been a week I’m still getting use to my new identity. My boys are still mine and I still deal with their wants and needs on a daily basis, but now I’m married. Is there actually a title for who I am now? Do I just go with, I’m a married woman with two kids? I will admit, this is confusing to me.

I guess I will take life one day at a time and learn who I am. I don’t think I really have a choice. I pray in time I will meet other ladies who have traveled this path and can guide me and fill me with wisdom regarding my new identity. But for today, I enjoyed my time at the luncheon. I enjoyed the food, fellowship, gifts from my boys and the speaker.

As I walked out of those doors, I knew that would be the last time I would attend. I’m happy to be married, leaving was just bittersweet.

Letting Go…

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If anyone were to admit it is hard to let go, it would be me. I wouldn’t say I’m clingy or a horderer, but sometimes it’s hard for me to grasp the concept of everything having a season.

For example, when I’m blessed to meet new people. I want us to stay in touch forever. Unfortunately, that’s not realistic. Some people are in my life to teach me a “right now” lesson, then they must exit my life. I must be ok with that.  Some people do have a longer purpose in my life. I’ve been blessed to have life-long friendships. Granted, we don’t talk everyday because life can get busy. But, some friends are just meant to be there so you can just “be you” around them. These friends keep you grounded and aware of self.

With any relationship, one must allow people to fulfill their purpose, then allow them to move on. As much as we don’t want to admit it, nothing lasts forever. There will always a beginning and an end.

Also with life in general, one must learn when to let go and move on. When I move from Michigan to the East Coast, it was time. Just like when I left the East and headed South, it was time. Letting go of everything I’ve ever known was difficult, but it had to happen when it happened. It had to happen when God designed for it to happen. And I will admit, his timing was perfect.

The people, places and things that have come and gone or even have stayed serve a purpose. I am grateful for every experience, opportunity and friendship that I have been blessed to take part in. I am also grateful that God is showing me daily it’s ok to let go and embace the new blessings he has for me.

Just my thoughts…Adrian

Double minded

A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.” James 1:8

Recently, I made a decision. Well at least I thought I made a decision. I knew what I had to do. I knew what was right. Transition and change is always hard, but it was time to let go and allow God to steer me in another direction. But, something kept pulling me back. For some reason it was taking all of my strength to turn the page to write the next chapter.

As I sat there, it became obvious that I must move on. I became annoyed that I was even still considering coming back. Everything has a season and I must embrace my new season. I appreciate my lessons learned and all the wisdom and memories, but now it’s time to make new memories and learn new things.

I don’t ever want to be considered double minded. I don’t ever want to be considered unstable. Lord, help me to make a decision and stick with it.

Moving foward at times can be rough, but life is always moving in one direction, so accept it. There is no pause, nor reverse button with life. Learn what is needed to be learned and move on to the next lesson life wants to teach you.

Just my thoughts…Adrian