I remember in 2004 when Fantasia came out with the song, BABY MAMA. Although I did not have any children at the time, I thought the the song had a nice beat and the theme was uplifting. There I was in my room with my head bobbing to the tune. Who would have known years later, I too would be a BABY MAMA.
Now before people get all beat out of shape with that title, it simply means a single mom. I personally don’t mind the words BABY MAMA, but to many that name is not an emprowering annotation. (I will talk more about that in a few.)
For four and a half years I was a single mom, doing things on my own to take care me and mine. I worked, paid my bills, used credit when I needed to, juggled home and work life and still was their for my babies and their school life. Me and my children’s father (my BABY DADDY) weren’t always on good terms in the beginning, but I never used the children to get back at him nor to control him. They were also his and although his parenting style was different, he loves them. So off they went every two weeks to spend time with him.
This leads me into talking about BABY MAMA’S.
We’ve all heard stories of woman trying to use to children to get back at their dad for whatever reasons. Why is that? If you’re relationship is over and you’ve both moved on, why do you care about what he is doing? Not allowing the children to spend time with their dad, is only hurting them, especially if he’s a loving father. But many BABY MAMA’S don’t see it like that and are living with a spirit of shellfishness, control, unforgiveness and bitterness.
So what whatever happened in your relationship happened. How long ago was that? Aren’t you both in new loving relationships? Why do BABY MAMA’S want to hold on to what did or did not happen in a relationship that ended years ago? The games of not answering the phone with the dad calls are quite childish. The ongoing remarks about his new mate are annoying. (And what did she do to you again?) Telling your children that their dad doesn’t have time for them, or that he cancelled plans, when all the time it was you is simply ridiculous!
From one BABY MAMA to another, please stop this foolishness. It takes two to make a baby, thus the children have two parents they need to spend time with in order to have a healthy childhood and great memories. Get pass your feelings and allow the children to see their dad. Now if their safety is a factor then that’s a totally different situation.
As for me and my ex, we’ve both happily moved on. The children are our only focus now. When we talk and even meet up to exchange the children, there’s always good vibes. For me, I don’t want my babies growing up with the memory of mom and dad fighting. I want them to see that although “our family” didn’t work out, Gods word teaches love.
And off they go to their dad’s smiling. See you in Sunday my love bugs…