Why label?

So recently in my blog feed I saw this title and to be honest I began to feel some type of way. Not because of the heriom of this lady as she risked her life to save many children, but because I don’t understand why it had to be titled as such. I don’t quite get why the reader has to be enlighten on the race of this person. Why does it matter what color she was? Isn’t what’s most important is that children were saved and another human being helped them? 

Daily in this country people feel the need to put labels on people. In my opinion that is why there is so much division amomgest us. Did the author label this as such to let the readers know that not all black people are bad and that there are some really good caring ones out there? Who knows, but sometimes I wish we could be blindfolded and see no color, just another human being. I bet then racism, hatred and labels would quickly be a second thought. With blindfolds no one will think they are better than the next because we would need to depend on each other to make it in this life. 

This post is not to tell anyone to deny their heritage, but why so many labels? Job and college applications have gotten to be way too much. We’re all human. All of our blood is red. We we’re all born and we are all gonna die one day. If any label should had been placed on this lady it simply should had be hero! Or how about simply giving her honor by saying her name in the title and not her race.

But those are just my thoughts…

Think your way to a better life! 

“As a man thinks in his heart so is he.” Proverbs 23:7

Believe it or not, but your current situation is directly related to your previous thoughts. Everyday I encounter people who unknowingly speak negative in their life. When problems occur, instead of speaking negative, begin to say things like, “Although this may be a difficult time at the moment, I will get through this because I am strong. I am an overcomer.” Many people rehearse failure and self pity. If that’s you, please stop today. 

What you put in the universe will eventually find its way to you! 

That is why it is super important to not allow defeat or mistakes to consume you. We all less up! Yes, at the moment it may be hard, but you are bigger than that moment. Whatever you need to get pass this moment has already been placed in you by your Creator. Its up to you to calm  and silence yourself so you can get clarity regarding how to handle your situation. 

One thing people miss is regarding faith. It’s great to believe that God will get you out of this jam, but you a job to do too. First you must think within yourself that it will all work out, then you must act (with actions) and begin to change your situation. 

Faith out works is dead!

I admit changing how you think doesn’t just happen overnight, but you must be purposeful in changing how you think and respond to life. True, your bank account may say something, but you are bigger than your bank account. Your bank account does not define you. You define you. 

I remember when my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer. Yes, I knew this was a serious diagnosis and she did treat it how the doctors thought she should. But, I never acknowledged the diagnosis of the doctors. I never treated my mom like she was different. I would always say to her, “There is nothing wrong with you. You are healthy.” I truly believe this helped my mom stay positive. Years later I still have my mom and she is healthy. 

So as we proceed into 2017, I wanted to encourage you to be careful of the words you speak and the thoughts that enter your mind. Don’t allow negative thoughts to enter and take residence in your mind. Daily think about things that are uplifting and positive. Begin to surround yourself with people who know that they are more than conqureors. Yes, this moment may be difficult, but you are strong…this too shall pass. 

Life interrupted…

I will be the first to admit, I hate it when my life becomes interrupted by something or someone unannounced. I am a planner and a free spirit, but I only enjoy the latter when I choose to be it. I totally get that in this life one day you could be high in the clouds, then suddenly the walls can cave in. Thus, when I’m having a great day I try to maximize on the feeling because you just never know what could happen the next day. 

My life is busy, but whose isnt? I’m pretty sure there are those who would love to trade places with me due to their hetic schedules. But, in my little world I can only express my feeling of running around like a headless chicken. 

I work a full time job, I am a mother/uber driver to my two children and now a new wife. On the side, I am in the midst of writing a novel (my 8th book), starting a non profit for children, getting ready to join a new church (which is mega by the way,) and volunteering at an elderly facility. Some of my buziness to others may seem self inflicted, but I believe I was created for more than just going to work everyday for someone else, being a mom and a wife. I have gifts within me and not sharing them with the world, to me is a waste of God’s time in creating me. God created us for so much more than the usual routine. I want to honor God with my gifts and talents, but sometimes that means there will be interruptions. 

Did I mention how much I hate interruptions.

There will be times when I need it quiet so I can focus on my writing, but at times the children nor the hubby adheres to my level of no noise. 

There will be times when my vision is to just go home after work, cook dinner for my children and rest while reading. Yet, the television is blarring at home, the children are fussing with one another or I need to clean or do laundry.

Or the time when I was pregnant with my first born. Shortly after purchasing a new home, I was out on hospital bed rest, then ended up having the baby early. Wasn’t prepared for that to say the least. Especially since he was born during the “anthrax”  scare and his baby shower invites didn’t make it to anyone. 

Interruptions are enevtible and I get that. But, I will be the first to admit a change in direction is hard on me. I want to do things my way without any detours. Don’t we all?? 

But what God is teaching me is that regardless of what I think or feel the main thing is that I trust him completely because he knows the direction he is leading me into. 

I just can’t see the destination and that’s frustrating. 

Yes, I got frustrated due to getting caught by that light, but God saw an accident getting ready to occur and he allowed me to miss it by being caught by the light. Yes, I got frustrated because the store didn’t have that particular item I wanted to buy, but God saw a bill coming in the mail for an amount around the exact amount I would have paid for that item. One thing I missed out on, covered a surprise bill. Look at God at work. 

So yes sudden interruptions can be quite annoying, but we must practice looking at each situation with what is God trying to teach me? 

I want to encourage you (and even myself) to not get so bent out of shape due to an interruption. Ride the wave because it may have come to teach you something very valuable or to protect you from something. 

Dear Sorry…I hate you! 

There is not a day that passes that someone is going to mess up. Each day, someone gets hurt by the words and actions of others. But what can you do to prevent it? Pretty much nothing. Even after an apology has been given, hurt is still there. 

Throughout my life, I’ve heard the words I’m sorry more that I would have liked too. Why can’t people, even myself just do right? Because we’re human and humans make mistakes. Is that an excuse for not knowing something or for simply not paying attention? What about the cold hearted people who just doesn’t care? Their response is usually, “Sorry if I hurt you, but…” 

I remember when my first love asked someone else to marry him. I was crushed beyond words. We had been friends for years so for him to hurt me the way he did was a blow to my heart. Of course he said other words, but for the purpose of this blog I will fast foward to him saying the part about he was sorry for hurting me. 

His words didn’t help one bit.

Are you really? I thought to myself. I was numb for a long time. Sometimes those words are nothing more than words. Yet, in time (a long time) my heart healed and I was able to move on emotionally. 

Many years later, i’m married to a great guy. The only thing is, I don’t understand the way he thinks. I get no one is perfect, but simple mistakes could cost lots. He doesn’t appear to get this and thinks I’m just being dramatic. But, for instance he left the oven on broil and left the house. 

When I finally got home, the stove was beyond words hot. I was furious because who knows what could have happened if the stove caught fire and no one was there? Of course he said those magical words, I’m sorry. But in my opinion, I’m sorry won’t pay the insurance company the deductible to rebuild our home. Nor, will it pay the bill for the hotel we would need to stay in until our house was rebuilt. 

I am just speaking for myself, but I’m tired of the words, I’m sorry. Those words don’t change anything and I wish they never existed. But until the world and the people in it (including myself) become perfect. I guess they will remain in hopes of easing the pain they’ve caused. 

Time for a change! 

One of the hardest things for me to do at times is letting go. Whether it’s letting go of habits that need to be changed, clothes that no longer fit or people in my life whose season has come and gone. I will admit, I’m just that type of person that tried to hold on even after God and the person has shown me that they are not beneficial for the place he is taking me. 

Letting go hurts.

But letting go is where God has me right now. Over the course of this year he has shown me who my core friends are. These are the friends that call/text to check on me and my family. These are the friends who make an effort to ensure our friendship is solid and real. Life is busy for all, but when someone takes time to hang out with you, they really value your friendship. These are the friends that support your dreams and goals. Even if they have no personal intrest in what you are trying to do, they still make sure you know you are supported. 

I never have to ask my real friends for support. And they never have to ask me to support them in what they are trying to accomplish. That is just what true friendship is…

It hurts, but letting go of some people has actually given me more peace. Finally I am realizing who are my ride and die friends, as opposed to those who are only in my life to benefit them. 

I am so over being there for some people and they are not there for me. When they have a new book or anything exciting going on their lives, I buy whatever it is. I am,there for their event. Yet, I don’t get the same love back. 

Confusing…

I am so over texting people and there is no response. Yet, when they see me out and about they feel guilty and instantly remember I texted them. Naw, you can keep that type of friendship! 

Yes it hurts to let some people go, but I now see them for who they are. I trust God to introduce new people to me that will value the type of friendship I care to share. I trust God with my heart because it is broken by the actions of others. I trust God with my future. I trust God with my life. 

To the left, to the left! I forgive you, but I’m moving on. 

It takes work!

So often we pray for things and we want those things to come swift and easy. But, in reality that’s not how life is. Before you pray for something be sure you’re ready for what it is you’ve prayed for. 

For many women, the hopes of one day being married consumed them. They are bombared daily with visions of “happy relationships.” Their family and friends constantly ask them when they are getting married? Social media constantly glamorizes “fake hapiness.” 

Now don’t get me wrong, happy couples do exsist. But, I can promise you it’s not like that everyday. I have been married five months and although I would consider my husband my best friend with whom I am,totally in love with, some days I can’t stand him. Any type of relationship takes work. A lot of work! 

So often you have to swallow your pride and take one for the team. You have to put what you want to the side and consider your mate. You have to acknowledge that you both have baggage and are both a work in progress. It’s during these times you question your previous prayer of being married. 

And what about wanting to start a new business? Nothing happens over night. Failure may happen before success and people need to realize that. Never give up on your dream just because it’s taking longer than you think it should. 

Everything happens at the time it’s suppose to happen! 

Be very careful who you share your dreams and visions with. They are not meant for everyone. People can unknowingly discourage you and talk you out of your dream. Share with those who you know have your back. Realize that some things take time to grow, but if God gave you the dream, he will make provisions for it to come to pass. 

So be encouraged on whatever jouney you are on. Be patient and realize everything doesn’t happen over night. Don’t become easily discouraged, but stay prayerful and excited about your new journey. It’s gonna take work, but I believe you can handle it!