So, my babies who are actually not babies anymore have just started a new school year. For most parents this is probably the highlight to the end of the summer. But for me, I will admit, I’m sad. You see I now have a Jr. High student and one still in elementary. That means I have two children in two different schools, who will be involved in different activities in which I will have to Uber them to all the while working full time. This makes me anxious.
I will admit the only reason I’m writing this blog is for therapy. My friends, my hubby and my mom are probably all tired of hearing my sob story, so I figured I’ll just put my thoughts onto paper…while online.
Yes, I’m proud of them both. yes, they are amazing children. Yes, I know they will be fine. I wouldn’t trade them for the world. But in reality, they are my world. Yes, I know I’m gonna have to allow them to grow up and mature into great young men, but right now I just want to snuggle with them and walk them to their different classes.
Today they rode the bus for the first time. To start off the first day the Jr. High bus was 20 mins late while we stood in the rain. Yep, great experience! My oldest is my twin and till this day isn’t embarrassed by my presence, didn’t mind me standing their with him. He even shared his jacket with me while it rained. Finally, the bus came and off he went. I had been crying all morning, but I tried to hold it together while we were amongst the other children and parents at the bus stop. I didn’t want to embrace the child.
But inside, I felt like a horrible mom just letting him go like that. Then again I would go to jail if I didn’t.
Next it was the fourth grader’s turn. This time I decided to drive him to the stop just in case it tried to rain again. Plus, since I still work full-time I wanted to time how long it would take me to get to work once I dropped him off at the his stop.
At first we were the only people there. I was slightly freaked out and kept checking the school’s bus schedule to make sure we were at the right stop and yes we were. I was praying he wasn’t going to be the only child on the bus. Then finally, a load of children came to the stop. Whew! This time the bus was on time and off they went.
Now both of my children are on their way to starting a new school year. This will mean homework, lunches, after school activities and new friendships. I know they are excited and that helps me to get pass my emotions. But, at the end of the day they are my babies and I just want them to be safe.
Yes, I walked home as a child and lived to tell the tale. And I know they will be fine too. I know they will pay attention in class and learn new things. I pray they stay focused, yet have a great school year.
But for me, today I plan on trying to get pass my emotions. I will eventually have to stop crying and face the reality that my babies aren’t babies anymore. I’m excited to hear how their first day went.