Beautiful without a filter

This is a picture my hip and side view of the real me at age 39. Although I’ve had two children, the ironic thing is that this is what I looked like even in my youth. I’ve always had stretch marks and I’ve never tried to cover them up with make-up or filters on my phone. Why? Because stretch marks are real life and it doesn’t make me any less beatuful because I have them. In my mind growing up I thought it was normal. I thought everyone had them. 

As I was taking this picture my son came in the bathroom unaware as to what I was doing. He was shocked as I held the camera towards my rear end and quickly asked why was I doing such a thing. 

I told him the honest truth. I told him that I wanted to write a blog post that encouraged other females to embrace their stretch marks, cellulite or any other normal body changes. This is real life and in real life, women aren’t perfect. Yet, we’re strong warriors, filters and make-up have many young girls disillusioned. 

It’s very unfortunate when a female doesn’t like herself or a certain part of her body because someone told her she shouldn’t. Or because she’s looked on the internet or in a magazine and saw women who don’t look like her, yet are glamorized because of the appearance of perfection. 

It’s very unfortunate that females don’t embrace their true selves. Rather they try and starve themselves as they try to fit into the cookie cutter of unrealistic views and opinions of people whose opinions don’t really matter. 

In my opinion, every size is beautiful. Every hue of human is beautiful. Stretch marks and dimples on the rear are also apart of life. And no female should feel less about themselves because they don’t look like someone else. God made everyone different, yet God loves us all the same. 

So I write this post to any female who doesn’t feel beautiful because of your stretch marks or other body contouring. Please know you are Gods greatest creation and in order for someone else to love you wholeheartedly, you must first love yourself! (Without any filters) ❤

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No makeup

I recently read a blog post that talked about how women should be who they truly are without all the makeup, weaves, filters and fake this and that. This made me think about my own personal life and how beauty is portrayed in the media. 

It’s very unfortunate that many young girls feel as though they are not beautiful unless they look or dress like the females they see in magazines or on television. Often times they spend countless dollars on things to enhance their outside, when it’s their inside (their heart/character) that needs the makeover. 

Yes, makeup and all that other stuff enhances one’s looks, but who are you when you wash the makeup off or take out your weave? (P.s. all ethnic groups wear weave. Don’t be fooled!)

I consider myself a NAKED type of female. I honestly have never been into makeup, fashion, nails or “girly things.” (I was a Tomboy as a child.) Yet, I still consider myself beautiful. I remember growing up and not being into makeup, fashion and etc. I was content. I wore a ponytail and I was comfortable in my skin. Some of my friends were more into looks to say the least. Yet, it boggled their minds every time we went out how the guys would want to talk and get to know me…the one with no makeup and a ponytail. 

I always thought my friends reactions to my unsolicited attention was amusing! 

Even in my adult years, after I decided to go natural, I went out with a guy that flat out told me that no guy wants to be with a girl who doesn’t have straight hair.He felt women should wear makeup, sexy clothes and heels. Wow! 

I was shocked and somewhat hurt actually. 

After that encounter, I must admit I was taken back. I had always been comfortable in my own skin and how I wore my hair, but since I was divorced and in the dating game again, I began to question my presentation. 

Long story short…me and that guy didn’t last long because I remembered I actually loved who I was and how I looked. I have a great personality and I have never had any trouble “finding” a man. Eventually I met my husband online. He simply adores me and all my kinky hair. He personally doesn’t like his woman to wear tons of make-up or weaves. 

Cha Ching! ❤
My husband loves me for me. There’s never a day I need to wake up before him and rushed to put on makeup because I’m afraid of him seeing me with my glam face on. He loves my plain face, my stretch marks, my cesarean scar, my rolls, my jiggles, as well as, my kinky hair. He loves only me. 

So I would say to all women out there, just be you. If makeup and weaves are your thing, then do you. Enjoy you. Just be sure that the man in your life is okay with those days when you don’t want to glam up. Make sure he’s not just with you for show. Make sure he loves you, only you even with no filter or makeup. 

Above all else, make sure you love you!

The Right One!

So often I see post about women or men looking for the “right one.” Well, the definition of that person could vary depending on the person. Where many people fail in finding the right one, is when they think they need what someone else has. 
My hubby always says, “Everybody’s shoe don’t fit my feet.”

Such a true statement! So often people get caught up in the “happy” relationships they see on Facebook or other social media sites or what their friends protray. What they have going on, may not be what you need in your life. And so often, people fake being in happy relationships for “likes” anyways. 

Here are a few suggestions I want to share for finding the right one: 

1. Before you desire a relationship, find out what it is you actually want and need in a mate. Don’t just get into a relationship because everyone else is in one. Being single right now may be the best thing for you at the moment. 

 2. Be complete and in love with yourself before adding someone else to your life. 

3. Realize we all have baggage. We all have issues. Be patient with yourself and your future mate.

4. Don’t expect perfection. We all make mistakes. You’re not always going to agree. 

5. Learn what you can and can not deal with. 

6. Don’t limit yourself by writing a list and expecting that person to meet every criteria you’ve set. 

7. Be open to getting to know different people of races. 

These are just my thoughts. Happy dating! 

Status Change…


I personally love social media. I love seeing all the new and exciting things my “friends” near and far are getting into. It helps me to see their children grow up, pray for them in their times of needs and also it can be used to advertise business ventures and ideas. 

But, what throws me for a loop every time is when people are quick to change their ststus to:

In a relationship…

Um…weren’t you just in a relationship not too long ago? Wasn’t that other person the love of your life? Your post said y’all were soul mates. So where did that person go? I get people are excited about new love interest. And trust your true friends are excited for you too. But, we just can’t keep up with these new status updates. Whatever happened to waiting until you both are really serious to blast your love across social media? I mean the type of love that has you in a “courting” relationship, or with a ring on. 

I get everyone is different and people can do as they choose. It’s just hard for the outsider who is still happy about the love relationship they thought you were still in only to find out, you recently posted pics of your new boo. Well, maybe I should had know y’all relationship had ended cause there were no more “in love” pictures posted across my news feed.

Okay…didn’t get memo you moved on. But, glad you’re happy again. Well, until the next status change. 

Regarding my relationships, I’m private until I know it’s serious. Not girlfriend/boyfriend serious. I mean this is my forever boo, my hubby type of serious. After my divorce, yes I dated guys, but no one was about to get posted across my Facebook as my new boo. I never posted pics of guys, just me and my children. I bet people either felt sorry for me or thought I was gay. 

People would tell me all the time how I am such an awesome person, beautiful in looks. And how one day I would find the “right one.” Be it unknown to them I was dating, just not blasting it across social media. That was until I met Keith. He was different. He was serious. He didn’t just want to simply date, he wanted to court with the intent to marry. 

I thought guys like him didn’t exist anymore.

It wasn’t until he proved his forever seriousness that I began to introduce him to my Facebook friends. We changed our profile picture to represent our togetherness, but I didn’t change my status until we got married. 

Well…he changed my status! 

The naked truth!

As I scroll through random pics on Instagram I notice many women enjoy taking pictures half naked. Why is that? I think it’s awesome that your body is banggn’ and you want to show it off. True you are 100% sexy, but you are still sexy with clothes on. Sorry, i’ve never done that, so I wonder what makes them want to take such pictures? 

Before I proceed with this post, please understand I am in no position to judge anyone. I get men are visual but, when you post yourself half naked you leave nothing for the man to imagine. When a man sees a half naked woman he is only thinking of one thing and it’s not getting to know her personality. 

True, many of these women who do this are awesome women with dreams and goals, but men are not concerned about that. They wonder how quickly they can get that g-string off of you. Your name is not important. Your amibitions are not a concern. If you love the Lord and go to church on Sundays are both things they could care less about. 

I have many male friends and it’s anonymous that they would rather marry women who are sexy and wear more clothes. Who wants their mate showing all of their goodies to everyone on social media? To be one with someone is to be exclusive? 

Now if you choose to be half naked with your mate and he’s cool with it…that’s a different blog. 

But, if you’re single and looking for a serious relationship, my advice is put some clothes on. You can catch more bees with honey than with vinegar. And by honey I mean having clothes on. 

I met my husband online. I was fully dressed and he desired to get to know who I was as a person first. And because we lived in two different states, he had no choice but to get to know me. But he knew in order to keep me he had to put a ring on it. 

A serious man will put a ring on it!! 

A serious woman will put clothes on!! 

The Perfect Mate!

I recently saw this picture on my FB news feed and I thought it was hilarious, yet very true. Very often men and women feel as though they will be waiting for an eternity for the “perfect” person to come into their life. I know I’ve personally felt like that in my past. Unfortunately marrying God is not an option, so you gotta understand no one is perfect and there will always be flaws present in the person you love. 

I recently got married and although I think me and my hubby vibe really good, we still think differently about many things. And it’s ok to think differently, we are all humans with our own way of thinking and free-will. But, what I am learning is that you gotta be with the one with whom you can deal with the differences and learn to learn from each other. 

If you’re waiting for the “perfect” person you will be waiting forever because that person does not exist. You are not perfect, so to expect perfection from someone else is unrealistic. 

As you wait for the “right one” for you, take some time to become the best person you can be. Get your “house” in order before you invite someone into your life. We all have baggage, hurts, pains and memories from our past. Realize we are all a work in progress. If the person you meet is willing to work on their “issues,” then they are someone worth going the extra mile for. 

Just my thoughts…

The wish list

Ok, I think it’s safe to say that the majority of single women have come up with this, “I wish my future man had these qualities” list. I’ve done it. Revised it a few times. Gave up on it. Prayed over it. Only to conclude, the only one who could actually fulfill my complete list would be the Lord himself.

Why are these list written by women so extensive? What if a woman met a man who only had three-fourths of her desired qualities, would he not be considered a good mate for her?

Yes, the Bible does say he will give you the desires of your heart, but what’s more important? Your will or God’s will for your life?

Please realize that not every guy that wears a suit and drives a fancy car is nice and has a bank account full of money. Those things are materialistic and fade with time. What females should be looking for is someone who has a good hrart, someone trust worthy, non abusive, not an abuser of alcohol, not easily angered and loves deeply. (just to name a few.)

Don’t get so caught up in what other people think is best for you. Do you. Know you and choose the best match for you.

Maybe his job isn’t the most glamorous. But, does he love what he does? Does he have dreams, goals and future aspirations? Does he treat his mother with respect? Does he honor God? Does he make you laugh? Is he dependable? Can you be yourself around him? It’s these types of questions that should be on women’s list as oppose to: 1. How much money does he make? 2. I want him to be no shorter that six feet. 3. He needs to know how to fix everything from the sink to your car. 4. Did he graduate from a four year university? 5. Does he have a six pack?

Let’s keep it real women. There are more of us than them, so be realistic when desiging your wish list. Don’t miss your blessing just because he drives a 2002 ride. Be happy he has a vehicle (which is probably paid off if it’s a 2002) to come see you and spend time with you.

At the end of the day, it’s his love for you that matters. If he would jump over the moon just to see you smile, then that’s the guy to consider.

Women, revise your list and get ready to meet your knight in shining armour.

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