The Right One!

So often I see post about women or men looking for the “right one.” Well, the definition of that person could vary depending on the person. Where many people fail in finding the right one, is when they think they need what someone else has. 
My hubby always says, “Everybody’s shoe don’t fit my feet.”

Such a true statement! So often people get caught up in the “happy” relationships they see on Facebook or other social media sites or what their friends protray. What they have going on, may not be what you need in your life. And so often, people fake being in happy relationships for “likes” anyways. 

Here are a few suggestions I want to share for finding the right one: 

1. Before you desire a relationship, find out what it is you actually want and need in a mate. Don’t just get into a relationship because everyone else is in one. Being single right now may be the best thing for you at the moment. 

 2. Be complete and in love with yourself before adding someone else to your life. 

3. Realize we all have baggage. We all have issues. Be patient with yourself and your future mate.

4. Don’t expect perfection. We all make mistakes. You’re not always going to agree. 

5. Learn what you can and can not deal with. 

6. Don’t limit yourself by writing a list and expecting that person to meet every criteria you’ve set. 

7. Be open to getting to know different people of races. 

These are just my thoughts. Happy dating! 

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Status Change…


I personally love social media. I love seeing all the new and exciting things my “friends” near and far are getting into. It helps me to see their children grow up, pray for them in their times of needs and also it can be used to advertise business ventures and ideas. 

But, what throws me for a loop every time is when people are quick to change their ststus to:

In a relationship…

Um…weren’t you just in a relationship not too long ago? Wasn’t that other person the love of your life? Your post said y’all were soul mates. So where did that person go? I get people are excited about new love interest. And trust your true friends are excited for you too. But, we just can’t keep up with these new status updates. Whatever happened to waiting until you both are really serious to blast your love across social media? I mean the type of love that has you in a “courting” relationship, or with a ring on. 

I get everyone is different and people can do as they choose. It’s just hard for the outsider who is still happy about the love relationship they thought you were still in only to find out, you recently posted pics of your new boo. Well, maybe I should had know y’all relationship had ended cause there were no more “in love” pictures posted across my news feed.

Okay…didn’t get memo you moved on. But, glad you’re happy again. Well, until the next status change. 

Regarding my relationships, I’m private until I know it’s serious. Not girlfriend/boyfriend serious. I mean this is my forever boo, my hubby type of serious. After my divorce, yes I dated guys, but no one was about to get posted across my Facebook as my new boo. I never posted pics of guys, just me and my children. I bet people either felt sorry for me or thought I was gay. 

People would tell me all the time how I am such an awesome person, beautiful in looks. And how one day I would find the “right one.” Be it unknown to them I was dating, just not blasting it across social media. That was until I met Keith. He was different. He was serious. He didn’t just want to simply date, he wanted to court with the intent to marry. 

I thought guys like him didn’t exist anymore.

It wasn’t until he proved his forever seriousness that I began to introduce him to my Facebook friends. We changed our profile picture to represent our togetherness, but I didn’t change my status until we got married. 

Well…he changed my status! 

Likes are for self…withdrawn from Facebook

I think many people are addicted to “likes” and “comments” regarding posts made on their Facebook or any social media accounts. I admit, I was one. To me, my life is pretty awesome. Thus, I never saw it as a big deal when I posted a picture or said something witty or insightful. But, when the “likes” didn’t accrue like I thought they should I began to feel some type of way.

Are people not seeing my posts? I began to ponder within myself. Internally I knew that picture was cute or what I had just said was straight knowledge. So why am I not getting the likes I thought I deserved? Wierd, but true. At least i’m being honest.

True, I loved sharing pictures of my life and my children so my friends could see them, but with the number of true friends on my Facebook account, I could have simply sent those pictures through a text message directly to their cell phones or e-mails.

And yes, all of the friends I have on Facebook I’ve met at some point in my life, they are not all my close true friends. So why did I deem sharing events or pictures about my life and family important to others who could care less about me on any given day? I was addicted to the “like” trap!!

In my opinion Facebook has handicapped many relationships from being genuine. Nowadays people think they actually know you from a single post or picture. I truly miss the days of people actually getting together and chillin at someone’s house. No one had cell phones in their hands, rather they talked to one another in real conversations. Back in the day no one cared about “likes.” People just lived their lives, had house or basement parties and enjoyed fun times like playing spades or monopoly.

Well, since my husband always mention how people are too plugged into the matrix, (social media) I decided to try an experiment regarding my Facebook account. I decided to deactivate my account for a little while to see if anyone actually notice. I deactivated my account to become unplugged from seeing my Facebook icon light up with a number when someone “liked” one of my post. I deactivated my account to focus on more important things in life. Yes, there are actually more important things in life than Facebook! I deactivated my account and guess what? No one cares…

I do plan to reactivate my account because I do miss seeing pictures and post made by my friends. I do enjoying reading encouraging and uplifting posts. I do love seeing all the great things God is doing in the lives of my friends. I do love sharing his blessings about my life.

Although I do plan to reactivate my account, I did learn a valuable lesson. In reality, no one really cares if you post something or not. (No one to this point has reached out to me asking where have I been, why haven’t I posted any pictures nor if me or my family is ok.)

Everyone’s life is in constant motion. People are busy, or at least they say they are. Your true friends will contact you regardless of social media posts. Live your best life and make time for those who are important to you. Make as memories as you can for yourself, regardless of “likes.” God likes you and his opinion is the most important.

Why I love Social Media

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I am a social media junkie. I love connecting with other new exciting people and vice versa. Social media allows my extrovert personality to learn new things, meet new people, follow the latest trending news and stay in touch with family and friends a far with just a click. No matter if I’m in my pajama’s or at work, while I’m waiting for my next patient. All I have to do is click a button and my mind goes on an adventure.

Yes, too much social media can become a problem. While many people have used it as an outlet to display hurtful videos and pictures, social media should be used as merely entertainment and networking opportunities. Not as some little god who takes control of you, your mind and causes you life to loses its purpose. 

I will be honest, I love seeing what everyone else is doing. I guess it’s my definition of people watching at the mall, just without the mall. I honestly, love seeing pictures of all my friends, their children and their new boo’s on Facebook and Instgram. I love getting new cool ideas from sites like Pinerest and Etsy. And now, I’m apart of Snap chat. Quick snaps of my quirky little world.

I love WordPress because it gives me an opportunity to read the thoughts of other people And vice versa. Its always so interesting to find out if I’m the only one who thinks a certain way. Blooging allows me to be free with what I say. There is little judgement in the blogging world. And even if someone disagrees with my thoughts, either I can accept their opinion or simply delete their comment. I have total control!

For me, social media is amazing, interesting and a learning experience. My life is very busy with raising my two boys, getting married soon, writing and marketing books and stepping out in faith as a motivational speaker. But social media provides me with in opportunity to escape my busy world. Its relaxing and often time a humorous adventure.

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Single, but not desperate!

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Last night my boys went for their weekend visit with their dad leaving me to come home to a very quiet house. As I began to do the laundry, wash dishes and finally wash my hair before going to bed, I thought to myself, “Sure would be nice to spend some time with a special someone tonight.” As I drifted off to sleep, that thought went on the back burner as I was at peace with my current situation of being single.

I know a lot of people. Many of whom are in relationships in which they are not happy in. Some are to the point of being totally miserable, but they choose to stay for whatever reason. My one friend even took a job in another state just to get away from his wife. Wow!

I’ve been there like many countless others have (unhappy in a relationship.) But, as I’ve aquired more wisdom, I’ve determined that my peace of mind and my own happiness is more important than changing my Facebook status to – in a relationship! It’s just not that serious anymore.

With technology being in a relationship has taken on a whole new level. Chivery has taken a backseat. Men nowadays have started texting to ask a lady out rather than calling her. What in the world is happening?

Yes, I am single and would love to be all boo’ed up with that special someone, but I refuse to settle. If being with me and spending time with me and my boys is not one of a guys top priorities, then he is definetly not the one for me. I will never understand how someone can “be in a relationship” with someone and not contact them all day. Totally unacceptable. No one is that busy! People make time for what is important to them!

I pray daily for “my future” husband. I truly believe that he is also praying for me. One day we will meet and will fulfill our purpose while together. We will encourage one another, support each other and make each other laugh.

I have a lot of love to give, but I refuse to simply waste it on someone who doesn’t appreciate me. I’m beautiful, educated, goal-orientated, happy and full of passion. Thus, until I met that special someone, I will continue to be single, content, patient and focused on my dreams and goals.

Jealousy

Why does this word have so much power over people? Ever since I could remember, people would always “hate” on other people because possibly their hair was longer, their skin was lighter, they had the newest toy or someone was popular. I never understood why people are not happy with themselves or for someone who has achieved a certain goal/dream or  purchased something nice for themselves.

I’ve learned early on that the only person I’m in competition with is myself. I want my today me to be better than my yesterday me. I am so focused on achieving my own goals that I really don’t have time to focus on what others are doing. But that’s just me…

I remember hearing girls in school saying things about other girls like, “She thinks she’s all of that because of…” When in fact that girl didn’t think that way at all. So instead of being nice to the girl, they would talk about her and shun her away from their group. Unfortunately, I’m in my thirties and I still hear people murmur things like that about other people.

I’m the type that rejoices for the accomplishments of my friends. If my friends gets married, I support her although I am yet single. I rejoice with her because it’s not about me. My day will come and I’ve surrounded myself around people who will be happy for me when my day comes.

I remember when one of my friends built a house. One would have thought it was my house by how happy I was for her. But guess what, my time came around years later, and I too am currently building a house.

People who are jealous have too much time on their hands. Too many people are too focused on keeping up with and passing the Jones’s that they are losing who they are, their purpose and getting into debt.

If more people would encourage and uplift instead of discourage and tear down other people, the world would be a much better place. But, I know in reality there will always be “HATERS.” These people will always be among us, but that’s ok. Simply rise above them and keep it moving. If people are jealous of you, then continue to do you. You are walking in your purpose!