Beautiful without a filter

This is a picture my hip and side view of the real me at age 39. Although I’ve had two children, the ironic thing is that this is what I looked like even in my youth. I’ve always had stretch marks and I’ve never tried to cover them up with make-up or filters on my phone. Why? Because stretch marks are real life and it doesn’t make me any less beatuful because I have them. In my mind growing up I thought it was normal. I thought everyone had them. 

As I was taking this picture my son came in the bathroom unaware as to what I was doing. He was shocked as I held the camera towards my rear end and quickly asked why was I doing such a thing. 

I told him the honest truth. I told him that I wanted to write a blog post that encouraged other females to embrace their stretch marks, cellulite or any other normal body changes. This is real life and in real life, women aren’t perfect. Yet, we’re strong warriors, filters and make-up have many young girls disillusioned. 

It’s very unfortunate when a female doesn’t like herself or a certain part of her body because someone told her she shouldn’t. Or because she’s looked on the internet or in a magazine and saw women who don’t look like her, yet are glamorized because of the appearance of perfection. 

It’s very unfortunate that females don’t embrace their true selves. Rather they try and starve themselves as they try to fit into the cookie cutter of unrealistic views and opinions of people whose opinions don’t really matter. 

In my opinion, every size is beautiful. Every hue of human is beautiful. Stretch marks and dimples on the rear are also apart of life. And no female should feel less about themselves because they don’t look like someone else. God made everyone different, yet God loves us all the same. 

So I write this post to any female who doesn’t feel beautiful because of your stretch marks or other body contouring. Please know you are Gods greatest creation and in order for someone else to love you wholeheartedly, you must first love yourself! (Without any filters) ❤

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2016

I can only speak for myself when I say 2016 has been an amazing year! I don’t really write resolutions, but I do make goals. I do want to be better at the end of a year than I was at the beginning. I am convinced I achieved this.

At times maintaining focus was quite difficult with raising two young boys, running them to various things in and out of school. I also became a newlywed, so now I must also give my husband attention. And I work full time like most Americans. I admit, feeling tired most days is an understatement. Yet, I try to press ahead so I’m not a waster of the time God has granted me with. 

I blogged, I published two books, I went on two vacations, I got married, I celebrated one year as a homeowner, I started a non profit for children, joined a new church, and I became a volunteer at an elderly facility. Yep, I stayed busy, but it has been an amazing year. 

My focus every year is to be a better person I was the year before. I also want to be a blessing to more people every year. Helping people in need is my motivation and passion. I want people to know God has not forgotten about them and I want them to experience his love by anything I can do to help. 

2016 has been amazing. Each year seems better than the last. I am grateful for God’s favor on my life. I am appreciative of all his blessings. I’m excited to see how 2017 will unfold. Excited to see the new people I will meet. Excited to see the places I will go. Excited to see the many people I will be able to help. 

How was your year? 

Black Man/Black Woman

I am a black women, who has dated, loved, cherished, supported, protected and even married a black man. I see so many post about how black women need to be there for their black men. But, when will our black men be there for our black women? 

Many black women are single mothers holding it down without any help from the fathers. While working full time and going to school, the black woman never gets a chance to sit and chill. She is constantly trying to find a way to help her children, her family and herself. She has to be the backbone of the family, the prayer warrior, the provider, the one who kisses her children’s boo boo’s when they hurt themselves. 

The black woman is expected to be strong even when she’s tired and wants to give up. Despite being abused and disrespected by people, she has to keep her head lifted high with dignity. Sometimes even with a man present in her life, she has to do everything, pay for everything with no help from him. 

Cause he’s on the come up and we as black women “need” to support our black men…

But when will the Black Man begin to support, love, cherish and respect the Black woman? When will they grow up and stop being a man child who depends on females for things they should be doing? When will black men focus on legal means to provide for their family so their black woman can be there for the children and make sure they are geared for succeess? When will the Black Man stop abusing the Black woman with their words and actions? When will the Black men raise their black sons to be future leaders and providers?

When will black men start showing their daughters how they should be treated? Not as hoes, but as queens. Love first starts in the home. 

Yes, the ratio of women out weigh that of men. But, I say to my black man, pick only one black woman and love her unconditionally. Love her like your life depended on it. Be there for her and lift her up when she feels depleted. Pray for your woman and provide for her. Be able to stand before God and say you valued the gift he blessed you with. Be able to say she never questioned your trust and that at any point you would have given your life for her. Be able to tell God that you never put anyone else before her and she knew she was appreciated. 

I love my black men. I have black children. I married a black man. I love, protect, cherish, respect and support my black man. But black men…you have to do better! 

Tired!

I am only 38 and I admit I have not been through nearly as much as some people on this planet. I have never been raped. I have never had to sleep in the streets and wonder where my next meal was coming from. I came from a single parent home, but it was never broken because I saw my dad all the time. Drugs were never and issue in my life, nor did I ever witness my mom being abused. 

So why am I so tired? I’m tired because of the lack of love in the world. I’m tired off hearing and reading about the senseless killings that occur everyday for no reason at all. I’m tired of little children losing their parents to crime, leaving some to be raised in a system of injustice.

I’m tried of no one owning up to their mistakes. No one is perfect, so own up to what you did and try to make it better. I’m tired of people blaming others for where they are or are not in their lives. Just because a liquor store was placed on your corner doesn’t mean you have to go in it and buy alcohol. Just because someone sells drugs doesn’t mean someone is making you buy them. 

My husband and I debate about this at times. He believe people are products of their surroundings. I total disagreed. I believe everyone has choices. True, you could have grown up in not the best circumstances, but if you are determined to change your future you can. Yes, it may be hard. But, all things are possible with God. 

So yes I’m tired. Tired of routine, racism, hatred, betrayal, senseless killings, and other things. But what can I do to change how things are here on the earth while I am still alive? I can start by living and portraying the life that I want to others to follow. I can start by teaching my children about choices. Choices that may be made in the present, affecting their future. I, amongst others can stop being so tired and stand up for what is right. We can stand up tall when others try to bring us down. We can all start by being there for someone in need, by either word or deed. The act of love can go a long way. 

So true, I haven’t experienced what many others have. But, one thing I do know is that I’m tired of love not being shown to others. Together we can make a great impact, but first we gotta get pass out dislike for each other. Skin color varies, but all of our blood is red. 

Stop Comparing! 

At times I run across a post or overhear a conversation regarding what someone thinks about another. Couples post happy relationship pictures all the time, but that doesn’t mean they are truly happy. People post awesome vacation pictures, but at what cost did it take for them to get there? What bill didn’t get paid in order for you to go? Some people secretly try to brag in hopes that people will envy their “make believe life”they are trying to showcase. Sad, but true. We all know people like that…

When will we as a people just love the life God gave us without trying to take a sneak peek at what someone else got going on? What God has for them may not be what He has in store for you. Be okay with that. You may not be working at a fortune 500 company, but whatever job you have, do it to the glory of God. You may not be able to buy the latest and baddest vehicle, but are you grateful for the means of transportation God has currently blessed you with? 

You may be single and home alone on most Friday nights, but you don’t know at what cost your friend endured to be out on a date with someone who could actually care less about them. Many will not admit this, but being single is a blessing. Being married to the wrong person can actually feel like a curse. 

I want to encourage you, yes the enemy will try and cause you to look at the lives of other people and wish yours was theirs. But, stay in your own lane and love your own life. Stop getting into debt trying to live a life you don’t possess. God can do so much more for you if your main focus is to praise/bless him, as oppose to envying someone else’s life, gifts and “grass.” Stop comparing and free yourself. 

Watch “How to find out your purpose!” on YouTube

This past Saturday I was blesses to be the keynote speaker at my MADE FOR MORE event. The topic was: Finding your purpose. Here is the video of the event. Be blessed.