My muse

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At a very early age, I knew that writing was my gift. I could sit for hours writing short stories and poems. In my twelveth grade year of high school, I wrote and directed my first stage play, “Till we meet again.” I must say it was an awesome experience. In college I had my first book signing. Random people who I didn’t know came up to me and asked for my autograph. That was my little celebrity moment. What a rush!

As a Christian, all of my writing focus around Christ and the Word of God in some fashion or form. I decided early on that this gift of writing God has given to me will only be used to bring him glory.

Like singing come easy to some, writing a book or anything of that nature gives me a joy. Writing relaxes me and allows me to go different places, be other characters and say whatever I feel like saying.

After I became a mom, my writings begin to center around my boys. They are my muse. They keep me entertained, so I’m never left without anything to write about.

So 2014, I decided to write a series of books that deal with common everyday life values for children ages 6-9. This was the first time I wrote an illustrated children’s book. I was stepping out on faith for sure. In a short period of time, God introduced me to an illustrator in the UK and this my series, Giants for God was created.

Friendship is the first in the five book series. And it deals with how difficult it can be being the new kid on the block. But God teaches us to be friendly, so in the end new friendships are developed out of love.

My two boys Darius and Darren are the main characters in the series and they are truly adorable. My illustrator did an excellent job capturing their look and expressions.

Giants for God currently can only be purchased online from http://www.lulu.com for $9.95.

I thank God for my gift of writing, but also for my two boys who cause me to be a better me with each new day.

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My heart belongs to you.

Tis the season for another Valentine’s Day. Even though I’m not in a relationship, this is one of my favorite “holidays.” I love the hearts, flowers, cards, the way the different stores array pink and red through the aisles and the candy. Although, I may not have a guy Valentine, I rejoice because I know the greatest Valentine, JESUS Christ.

You see, although receiving a card, flowers and candy are great. Nothing can compare to what JESUS gave me. He loved me so much to die for me. He sends me hugs daily and brightens my days with the rays from the sun. When I had nothing, he provided for me. When I don’t feel well, he’s always by my side to comfort me. He is the one who makes me smile…just because.

This year I just wanted to tell the one who loves me beyond measure that I also love him unconditionally.

XOXOXO

The man of my dreams.

I met a man and he says he wants to love me. He is kind, gentle and knows how to treat me with respect in every way. When I am sad, he holds me in his arms and wipes my tears away. He tells me softly that he will always have my back and will do everything in his power to make things better.

When I am happy, he is also happy for me. He rejoices with me as we sing and dance together. He promises to never leave my side and I believe him. He wants to love me and my boys unconditionally. He wants to be the head of our household and wants me to trust and believe in him to provide for us.

Life can not get any better than this. I am so grateful to have him in our lives. For those who have met this man, they know my words are true. He is all of that and a bag of chips too. I promise to never let go of his hand. I trust him completely with my heart, my inner secrets, my joys and my pains.

I just wanted to say thank you Lord for being my everything. Now and forever will I love you.

Your first love,
Adrian

Racism is real, but not in my world.

Growing up, my race was the majority. Yes, I saw other races in my every day life, but my neighborhood, my school and my church were predominately full of blacks. This was my normal. Yes, there were neighborhood or school fights, but nothing was racially provoked. If there was an issue it had more to do with gangs or drugs. I was never treated differently because of my skin color. I was never called out of my name or treated differenly by another race.

In my school, of course we were taught about slavery, The Civil Rights Movement and all of the Blacks that paved the way to help us gain rights. I thank God for my ancestors, their prayers, their fight and their innocent blood that was shed on my behalf. All this evil because of a darker complexion of skin. How ridiculous.

College was different. My race became the minority. Yet, everyone seemed to not care about race. I did met some people who had never been around a black person growing up. I thought that was odd, nevertheless, they still seemed friendly. I can’t say that there wasn’t racism present, I can only say I didn’t experience it.

As I matured and became an adult, I’ve been blessed to meet all types of people. If they didn’t like me, I couldn’t tell. I’ve been blessed to encounter some of the greatest people ever that were different races and religions.

Now, I live in the South, in a state people say is full of racist people. I suppose there are some. There are probably racist people every where, but I refuse to treat anyone differently. I smile and I’m kind. I truly believe God has his hand on my life and he shields me from unnessary foolishness.

Recently, I went to see the movie Selma. These types of movies always give you a greater appreciation for what others have done for you, but at the same time have you feeling some type of way when you leave the theater.

When I went to work that following Monday, my mind tried to convince me that the white patients didn’t want to be seen by me. And so I called a seventy-nine year old white man back to my room. I kindly introduced myself and took his vitals. He wasn’t rude or mean, he just didn’t say much, nor did he smile much. He just allowed me to clean his teeth as he sat there in silence. I was in such inner turmoil and the man hadn’t done a thing to me. I honestly, just wanted the appointment to end because in my mind he didn’t like me. 

When the appointment was over I walked him to the front to check out and to my surprise, he turned around, shook my hand and kindly thanked me for cleaning his teeth while addressing me by my name.

I could have hugged him!

I left his prescence relieved and happy that although my mind was trying to convince me otherwise, in the end all things worked out for my good. Another satisfied patient.

I live with no regrets

“The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down.” Psalms 37:23-24

I am who I am by both my positive and negative experiences. I’ve had some good days, as well as, some bad ones, but regardless each day and situation taught me a valuable lesson.

I admit, I don’t get it right every time. Nor, do I make the best decisions in every circumstance. But, despite me being who I am, God still orders my steps. I am who I am because God allowed me to go through it, whether good or bad.

I’ve smiled and laughed a lot, But I’ve also cried just the same. There were times when I was on cloud nine, feeling and being the best me ever. Then there were times when I felt God had turned his back on me, causing me to navigate through this world alone.

Yet, through it all; through the being raised in a single parent home, losing my virginity to my first love only to have him marry someone else, going to a great University and choosing the best career for me, giving birth to two awesome boys, bankruptcy, surviving an abusive marriage, getting a divorce, moving to a unknown place, meeting the greatest people who I know have my back, not having a job, to becoming a single mom, God has a plan for my life. Thus, I don’t regret my past, good or bad in any way. Rather, I relish in the fact I can never be cast down because I am a child of God.

As hard as some days are compared to others, I rejoice in any tribulation because I know it’s through the fire that I will become refined and defined.

I don’t live with regrets because my every move is a move towards my destiny. Even when I totally blow a situation, God still uses it and turns it around for my good.

Life is about learning and growing, not about “should of’s or could of’s”. Live each day to the fullest and even if you mess up, it’s okay. God is not expecting you to be perfect and get it right every time. Rather, I believe he is expecting you to trust that when you do fall short that he will be there to pick you up and carry you if he had to, to your next step in life.

I am a whole person!

I am a whole person. God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit complete me. God is my head and I am his child. I have realized that I am nothing without him and greater is he that is in me, than he that is in the world. I was created in him image to worship and adore him. He is mine and I am his. I was fully aware of this.

I am a whole person. I am not missing or lacking any good thing because God has supplied all my need according to his riches in glory through Christ Jesus. Anything I desire or want I am taught to simply ask, believe and receive in faith. And the more I seek after him, his kingdom and his righteousness, all things shall be added unto me. I understand this.

I am a whole person. I have been blessed with an amazing job in which I am able to take care of my family and pay all of my bills on time. I have my own means of reliable transportation and I can afford the gas to put in it. If I want super or unleaded, that’s for me to decide.

I pay my own rent, my medical, house and car insurance. I pay all my childcare cost, even when I disagree with their fees. I buy my own groceries and my own weave if I choose to wear it. My clothes, I’ve picked them out. My shoes, I bought because I liked them. There is not much that I want that I can’t buy on my own. God has his hand on my life, I am thankful for this.

I am a whole person. I love to date myself. When I get dressed, I don’t have a problem complementing myself. I love the way I style my hair. I love my feminine swagger. I know how to drive myself to where I want to go while listening to the music I love to listen to. I arrive on time without having to wait for anyone else to possibly make me late. I can open my own door, order my own food and leave a blessed tip for the one who has helped me. I know how to treat myself. Rather, if it’s to a nice piece of jewelry or to a simple movie. I know what I love and I do what I love. I love me because God loved me first, I totally appreciate this.

I am a whole person. I have two of the most handsome and awesome boys that God has created this side of Heaven. I love them and they love their mama. My days are filled with superheroes, Legos, video games and stinky feet. I love every minute of it. My daily prayer is that I can be the best mom I can be to these little ones God has entrusted me with. I love watching them mature into honest, respectable and loving men. They have a lot of energy, so they keep me young and alert. They are the greatest blessings to me and I take being their mom seriously. Because of them I will never be lonely. Children are a blessing and I’m grateful for them.

I am a whole person, yet I am alone. The Bible states, it is not good for “man” to be alone so what’s up with me? If I care to think about this too hard, the mind would try to convince me that there is something wrong with me. Maybe, I’m not good enough. Maybe I’m not pretty enough. But, when my mind begins to race with such silly thoughts, God whispers in my ear how much he loves me. He encourages me to simply trust him and his timing and that behind the scenes he is orchestrating a diving connection; a meeting of two souls.

I am a whole person, one who can recognize when I need to take my hands off of the wheel and allow God to take over the driver’s seat. God knows how to get me and my soul mate at the right location at the right time. It is at this destination, this moment in time that two whole people will meet and our relationship will have purpose. We will be two whole people who prior to meeting knew God for themselves. We will have a personal relationship with him and will know his voice. We loved to date ourselves and we live a life full of purpose. Although we both were alone, our joy is in the Lord and we wait patiently for his promise. God’s timing is always the best timing, I accept this.

As I look up at the sky, I smile because I know the one God has for me and my boys is looking at the same sky. He’s praying to the same God. Our divine introduction is coming, but until it happens I will continuously seek the face of God, be the best mom I can be and use my gifts to bring him glory. Daily I am fulfilling my purpose in him and my future relationship will only catapult my purpose to the next level in my destiny. I believe this in Jesus Name.

Co-worker verses Friendship

Are my co-workers my friends? Naw. It’s not that some of them are really nice people, but I simply have no desire to intertwine the two. Have I always been this way? Naw. But, as I’ve worked at different offices, met tons of people and matured in life. Separating the two is a goal of mine. Honestly, I’ve allowed some of my patients into my world and they have become some of the greatest blessings and friends that could come my way. But, with my co-workers, although some are really awesome people, I draw the line with how open I am with them.

Often I’m asked by some of them if I have a Facebook account. I don’t lie. Rather, I admit I do, but then I quickly interject that I don’t add co-workers to my friend list. (Because they are My co-workers, not my friends.)

The reality is I have to work with and be around these people about nine hours of my life each day. I can’t afford to build be a friendship with them, have it go sour for whatever reason (one can never figure out reasons why things go sour. The blame game always shows its ugly head.) and still be around them and feel as if there is not a “pink elephant” in the room when we’re together. Been there, done that and I don’t plan to ever do it again.

Some may say, “Oh, whatever happened in the past I need to let go of and move on because all people and experiences are not the same.” I would totally agree with this statement. But, at the same time, one must also display wisdom. If I am noticing how they gossip, Facebook stalk and tell other people’s business, why would I want to be apart of that? Gossiping isn’t my style.

I would rather simply go to work, do the job I am getting paid to do, interact on a friendly; yet work related level and then go home. And I’m happy doing this. If one of my co-workers needed me outside of work in a life or death situation, I would truly have their back. But, I would first wonder in my head, “Why would they call me first, I’m sure they have other options?” Just being honest.

People can say what they want, but this works for me and my world. Me and my co-workers have a mutual respect and they’ve accepted my boundaries. Life is good and I enjoy the nine hours I spend with them daily.