My thoughts and visions have become my reality

I remember when I was in high school, I use to have a major crush of this guy who didn’t know I existed. He didn’t know I existed because he went to another school and the only time I saw him was in the Memorial Day parade in which our city held every year. He was a drum major and I was infatuated by his smooth moves as he danced to the beats of his band.

For about two years I waited with anticipation for his school’s band to approach the intersection where I would sit.Finally there he was high-stepping and grooving with his band uniform on and his marching staff in hand. Boy, did he look good. I wished that one day I could meet him. But, how could that ever happen? We went to different schools. So, as he passed, I dreamed of the next time I would be able to see him dance again.

Life went on and I was turning 16. WooHoo! I began planning my sweet 16 basement birthday party. I’m from the North, so most of our parties were in our basements. I sent out my invites, had my punch and cake ready. My CD’s were lined up to be played. Finally it was time for my guest to arrive. My doorbell rang and my friends arrived. As I was running around trying to entertain my guest, I heard my doorbell again. As I opened the door, there he stood. Yes, the guy who I’ve had a crush on for years was standing at my door wanting to come into my house to attend my party. To say the least, I wanted to faint.

My constant thoughts attracted him to me. I didn’t know that what I was doing had a name, but as I grew older I begin to use the law of attraction to my benefit. I can tell you countless stories about how this law has worked for me, but I’ll simply tell you what has happened in my current 2014/2015 life.

The picture of the model home I'm about to build.
The picture of the model home I’m about to build.

Years ago I created a vision board. (I strongly recommend people do this) On this vision board I put things in which I wanted to happen in my life. One picture I put on it was of a house and I simply wrote, build on it. Time passed, a divorce happened, went from a one bedroom apartment to a two bedroom apartment and finally I decided it was time for a house. My boys were growing bigger and they needed more space. So, I put a status update on my Facebook that I claimed in faith that in 2015 we were moving into a house. Nothing or no one could convince me otherwise. Long story short, I asked, believed and received.

Our house will be completed in a few month and I’m so excited. It is everything I wanted in a house. As I looked back on my vision board, I didn’t have any idea how it would come to pass, but that was not my concern. I stood on the scriptures and my faith never wavered. I daily thanked God for our house before I ever went out looking for a house.

So I encourage anyone who want to receive anything in their life, see it first in your mind. Ask for it, believe that you’ve received it and begin being grateful for it.

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My Faith Ring

I’m I married? Nope. So why do I wear a ring on my “wedding” finger? I wear it in faith.

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“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1

I am a woman of faith and I know how to apply my faith to my daily life. Thus, one day I decided to use my faith towards something I desire…a husband. When I look at my hand I smile because I know one day we will meet and he will place a much bigger and nicer ring on my finger. So, I wear this ring for practice.

“And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” Genesis 2:18

If God said it himself that it’s not good to be alone, then it’s truly not good that I am alone. Yet, although I am alone, I am patient and focused on being who I would like to meet and one day marry. When Mr. Right finds me, he will find a good thing along with two extra bonuses. (My boys) He will find me loving God with my whole heart, mind and soul. He will find me paying my tithes and serving unselfishly in my local church body. He will find me working at a good job, one in which I truly love. He will find me raising my boys to become respectful, honest and loving men. He will find me living out my purpose. He will find me in the presence of God.

True, I don’t know from where he may come from, but to be concerned with that is not my job. I trust God to orchestrate the meeting and in faith I believe my guy will know how to recognize his good thing when he sees me.

Yes, I said God will arrange the meeting and the guy has to recognize, because too many people think that God picks out our mates and that is not so. God put Eve in the garden, but it was Adam who recognized her and said, “Woman!” And eventually said, “I will leave my mom and dad to cling to this fine chick!”

My main job as a single woman is to stay before God and seek him, and in his timing all will be made manifest.

“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” Matthew 6:33

So that’s what my everyday looks like. God knows I’m alone without a mate and he knows it’s not good. But, it’s all good because I know my guy is looking for me. And in time he will find me with ease. I do not have to worry or do anything crazy for him to find me.

On his journey to me, I pray he gets pass the many distractions that may lie before him. The enemy would love to see us not come together and do mighty things for God. I pray for his strength and increased wisdom. I pray for his unfailing health. I thank God for his unconditional love he will have for me and my boys.

Sleep is my drug of choice!

As we start a new year many people set resolutions. Some want to loose weight and get in shape, others want to pursue dream jobs, while others want to grow closer to God. All resolutions that are set and planned out sound good and realistic until a distraction comes into play.

Distractions can take on many forms. For me, being a single mom, I’m constantly thinking about how to be the best mom for my boys. At times, I get overwhelmed because my choices are important. They not only affect me, but also my boys. I pray daily for clarity and wisdom. But just as I’m about to go into my morning prayer, devotion or meditation session sometimes there’s an interruption or distraction.

“Darn it, I forgot to silence my phone and I just heard the alert.” Yep, thus begins my distractions. Of course, I gotta check it. It could be the greatest. e-mail of all time. Or better yet, someone may have commented on one of my photos on Facebook or Instagram.

“Mom, I’m hungry.” “Mom, he just hit me.” “Mom, can I watch T.V?” The mom questions never end, so I just give up my quiet time to put out sibling wars.

*What are we gonna eat for dinner?

*What will my boys wear to school or eat for lunch today?

*I gotta make sure all of their homework is done, they’ve showered and in bed at a decent hour.

*Gotta make sure I’ve called all my friends back.

*Gotta respond to all my e-mails.

The list goes on and on…until finally I really haven’t accomplished anything, but a whole lot of nothing.

This year I will be goal minded. Purpose driven. I will wake early and go to bed late. Yea, all this sounds great until the third day when my body simply gives out and I fall fast asleep.

But in reality, I will be more focused this year. I want to accomplish more. So sorry Facebook, Instgram and my cozy bed, you will have to wait until I’m done blogging, writing the next NY TIMES best seller, spending quality time with my boys and deepening my relationship with God.

Distractions are not allowed in 2015. Sounds good or paper, right? Well, let me just say, I will be more focused this year. I’m the single mom or two young boys, there will always be distractions. But, sometimes a warm kiss or hug from one of my boys is something I consider the best distraction. And I’ll always make time for that.

I encourage you today to try and stay focused on the purpose God has placed in you. Write your goals down or even make a vision board. That way, you will have a constant reminder about what you are trying to achieve.

Enjoy My YouTube video entitled Distractions:

Distractions: http://youtu.be/_9cfQGlzw7c

The day I let go of my relaxed hair!

Sept 2013, was the last time I put a relaxer in my hair.

As I sat on the floor in my bedroom that day, I thought I felt a small part of me die as I made the decision to stop using relaxers in my hair. For a brief moment I was depressed. Ever since I was twelve years old, relaxers were all I knew. But after a flash back of how my scalp would burn from the chemicals, I quickly got over it. My decision to never relax my hair again, unlike many others was not for religion, empowerment or for some great cause. It was simply something I’d always wanted to do, so I did it. Another check on my bucket list.

My thirty-six birthday was vastly approaching and I knew it was then that I wanted to do the Big Chop. As I transitioned my hair before I went before the scissors, I wore different styles that involved weave. I’ve never been too shy to throw on a fancy wig, have my hair braided or have a quick weave sown into my existing hair. I’m sexy and I know it!

Finally the day arrived and I had my friend cut my hair. To say the least, she didn’t want to do it. But, because she had been natural for about two years prior, she understood my brave step. As she cut pieces around my head, she gathered my hair and placed it into a bag so I could forever have this memory. The more she cut, the happier I became. I actually felt freer! Then it was time to look in the mirror. I looked different, but I totally loved the new me.

March 2014 - After my Big Chop
March 2014 – After my Big Chop

Driving home I could feel the air blowing through my new do. I felt alive. I was happy. But to be honest, I did think about what others, my friends and my co-workers would think about my hair. Getting ready for work that Monday morning was a little stressful to say the least. But I pulled myself together and remembered the lyrics to India Arie’s song, “I am not my hair.”  I soon felt empowered, beautiful and ready for the reactions of my employers and co-workers.

“I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am not your expectations no no
I am not my hair
I am not this skin
I am a soul that lives within.”

Not that people’s opinions really meant that much to me, I had been delivered from that years ago. I was who I was and my hair didn’t define me as a person. I refused to look like everyone else or be what others thought I should be or look how they thought I should look. I loved me and I radiated confidence because greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world.

People had their opinions. Some were shocked, others loved my new do, while others who didn’t like it kept their opinions to themselves. (I applaud their wise decision in not voicing their opinions.) Regardless, I loved how my natural hair felt, how it curled and how easy it was to maintain.

Now months have passed and I’ve tried different hair styles. Just because you’re natural doesn’t mean you have to always look the same. But, I must admit my favorite look is a two strand twist out. It’s easy to do and so fits my personality. Here’s a picture of me nine months post my Big Chop.

December 2014
December 2014

To say the least, this has been one on the best Bucket List decisions I have ever made. I am always learning something new regarding how to take care of my natural hair. There are so many products out there, I’m still learning what works best for me and my hair texture. My goal is to grow my hair to my shoulders. After that, who knows. I’m just having fun being me…

What I would tell my younger self…

About a year ago, I got an e-mail from Tyler Perry’s newsletter. In this newsletter it had a video in which Tyler Perry wrote a letter to his younger self. His video was really profound and thought-provoking. I could visualize him talking to his younger self and letting him know, despite what he was going through that it does it better. I could visualized him reaching out and hugging his younger self during times when he was really afraid and did not know what to do. I could visualized him cheering on the younger Tyler Perry and encouraging him that no matter who or what would be against him that God would have his back. His video ministered to me and caused curiosity within myself as I pondered, if I had the opportunity to talk to my younger self, what would I say?

Looking back, there were times that were rough. Times when I cried until I had no more tears. Times when I didn’t understand why a certain person had to die or why a certain boy-friend broke up with me. I didn’t understand why I lived in a single parent home, nor why my brother who was just as loved as me by our mom, acted out in school and in our home. His behavior made me sad, but I got over it.

I remember times when I used my faith, but didn’t know what I was actually doing had a name. I was strong, bold and independent. I wasn’t confined to a certain event or time because I knew tomorrow would bring about a new journey.

If I had an opportunity to talk to my younger self, it would go something like this…

Dear Younger Adrian,

I want you to know that it’s going to be alright. Yes, there will be some hard times. But, those times will help you to get to where God wants you to be. You may not know all the “how’s,” but that’s okay. Trust God. Even when you feel as though you don’t feel him, trust him even more. You will experience many happy times. You will laugh so hard your cheeks will hurt. Your heart will be overjoyed with different life events. Cherish these times. For they will help you when your days are not the happiest. You will make many friends. Some will be in your life for many years, while others will be there to serve a certain purpose. Then they will leave. Learn to let go.

The power that is within you is the Holy Spirit. He will teach you all things. You have great faith. Cultivate it. Keep having goals and reaching for the stars. Nothing is unachievable if you never quit. Believe in yourself and don’t be so easy offended. Seek wisdom and be patient. Learn who your real friends are and let go of the others. The gift that is within you will make room for you. Learn to laugh at yourself and reward yourself for any goals you’ve accomplished. God is going to use you in a mighty way so get ready. Study his Word.

Unfortunately, I can’t tell you everything that is going to happen because I am still experiencing life. But I can tell you that you will never be in lack because of the power of your mind. You will put into action the scriptures and the windows of heaven will be opened unto you. Despite your mess ups, God will love you and use you for great things.

Be encouraged, you have purpose. When you need a hug, I will send one your way. Seek God first and everything you can possibly imagine shall be yours.

Signed,

Your older self.

I’ve included a link to the YOUTUBE video of the actual letter I wrote to myself. Enjoy.

Letting Go

Although I’m an extrovert, It never bothered me when I was alone. I remember playing with my brother growing up, but when he finally realized I was a “girl,” he began to play with his guy friends. And that was ok, because I had a pencil, paper and my imagination. I guess that was the first time I realized that people, things and situations don’t last forever. That was also when I realized my love for writing. Writing took me places I could only imagine. If I wanted to be taller, I would write myself as taller. If I wanted to be able to fly, I wrote me as having the ability to fly. The skies were the limited when it came to any vision I perceived.

As I grew older, I met different people. Some interesting. Some not so interesting. I had my heart broke a few times, but I learned valuable lessons with each story. I had many friends mainly because I accepted people for who they were. Till this day, I’ve never judged someone because they were different from me. There was a few mean girls growing up who thought the world revolved around them, but I never really felt their vibe, thus I kept it moving and danced to my own tune.

I’m an adult now and looking back, there have been many people I’ve come across. Some people have been in my life, basically all my life. While, others I met through my ins and outs of the few states I’ve lived in.

Moving to the East Coast in 2002, was one of biggest letting go experiences of my life. I was going to a foreign land in which I knew no one. But, I wanted to see more, experience more and see what life was like outside of Michigan. Yes, in the beginning I was home sick and thought many nights, what was I thinking? But, I had to learn to let go and move on. Michigan was home. It was where I grew up and made my first best friends. It was where I feel in love, had my first kiss and where I had my heart-broken. It was where my family was and leaving was a hard decision. Leaving helped me to mature.

Time went on and I met new people. I now had a new circle of good friends. Home would always be home, but now I had a new address. I began to experience life. I had my own place and was paying my own bills. Yet, friends came and friends went. Rather they moved to a new place due to a job, or life just got too busy to always hang out on a Friday night to go skating. Life is about change. One needs to accept this. It’s not that our friendships ended, life just caused a changed. And change isn’t always bad, it just is.

Then, I moved again to the South. Not knowing a soul, I moved in faith. I’m very free-spirited. Since I did it before, I figured I could do it again. But this time it was different, I had two little boys along for the ride. They’re easy-going, so that makes life easy. They just go with the flow.

So, here we are starting over and having to make new friends. I always smile because although I had no idea I would be living in the South, God did and he had already set up who I would meet and where we would live. Letting go of the East Coast was hard and I miss my friends there, but the truth is true friendship isn’t confined to a certain zip code or a state. If someone is meant to be in your life, they will be. Whether it’s a friend, a love interest or a job, if it’s for you then you don’t have to struggle regarding it. Simply let go and relax. Nothing can hold back or prevent what is for you from happening.

My friends will always be my friends. The guy that is for me will find me. The house I desire is mine. Health is mine. But, sometimes you have to let go of some things in order for God to position you where he wants you to be.

I’m happy with my new life in the South. This is home and I’m slowly turning into a country girl who still loves her pencil, paper and imagination.

The Choice of Celibacy

For many people this choice is not one of the easiest to make. While others have their reasoning behind why they choose to stop having sex before marriage, my choice was made to honor God and my body. Although I’ve been a Christian for many years, I did make the choice to fornicate while being a Christian. While I was a child, I always thought if I did have sex that God would open the Heavens and strike me down instantly. So when I did and nothing happened, well at least not in the natural, I thought it couldn’t have been such a great deal.

But, although nothing happened in the natural, spiritually I was dying. By God’s grace I never caught a STD, but allowing your flesh to rule you and separate you from the blessings God wanted to make available to you, in my opinion, is worse than dying.

I had never been into doing drugs, drinking or anything “crazy,” but sex was a strong hold for me. Being that we’re sexual beings, I ran with this idea. I figured since I wasn’t doing any of the “hard core” sins that I could escape the microscope. But God said, “No!”

I wrestled with the scriptures and the idea of waiting till marriage, but sex felt so good. I wasn’t sexing any and everybody, but was in a “committed” relationship so I thought. Thus, I enjoyed my time with my mate. Only to wake up the next morning feeling condemned and ashamed for my actions. At least until the next time I committed that sin again.

But then finally, I had enough. My mate had betrayed me and it really opened my eyes to sex before marriage. Yes, I was totally hurt. How could the one with whom I’ve been sharing my most prized possession with betray me on so many levels? This was the beginning of the end of me fornicating as I knew it.

I didn’t want to feel like this. I wanted the hurt to go away. I wanted the pain to end. I didn’t want to feel embraced any more. I wanted to have control over my mind and body. I wanted to please God…

So one day, I did it. Cold turkey. I made a decision to stop giving away my body to someone who is not my husband. I made a decision to obey the scriptures and actually starting living the word. I made a decision to confess my faults to my loving Savior and thus I believed I was forgiven.

Has it been difficult? I wouldn’t lie if I would say it hasn’t. I have soul-ties out there. There are times when my body yearns for my ex although I don’t want him in my life anymore. When this happens, I know it’s simply the flesh and I redirect my focus. I don’t resist the thoughts, I simply change them. I am in control of my thoughts and my body.

Currently I’m not dating anyone. I guess that’s also helping me with my celibacy. But, even when I met people I’m upfront about my beliefs and where I stand on sex before marriage. I’ve gotten mixed reactions. But, I don’t focus on what people’s thoughts and reactions are, my main concern is that I’m pleasing God with my actions.

I know my future husband will be blessed by my decision. Although I’ve made some mistakes in the past, I know I am a Proverbs 31 woman. I’ve learned to not put myself in compromising situations and to always stay prayed up. Just as God is cheering for me, the enemy is trying to cause me to fall. But, God always makes a way of escape.

I take life and my choice one day at a time. I’m happy with my choice. I’m protecting my heart and my temple. I don’t really care about what others think nor what they are doing, this is my journey. A journey that has shown me that nothing is too hard for me.

God is pleased. I am happy. My future husband will be overjoyed and I’m loving life cause I’m finally free of the bondage my flesh had me in.